Saturday, January 14, 2012

BBC Merlin: The Lady of the Lake

LOOK, how CUTE. Someone ruffle his hair and give him a COOKIE!

This is just classic television, everyone.  You'll laugh, you'll cry; you'll laugh 'cause you're crying...
It's like Robin Hood  on Speed--- with BEASTIES

Merlin: Why is that pretty girl in a cage?
Gaius: Because she is  a magician caught by a bounty hunter. Uther Pendragon doles out big rewards for sorcerers caught and brought to him. BECAUSE HE HATES withcraft.
Merlin: *puppy dog eyes* Can we save her?
Merlin: screw that!

-Merlin loses Gaius
-Merlin magically unlocks girl from cage and hides her in a cave and brings her food.  They both have MOON EYES.

The Next Morning .... at the CASTLE:
Arthur: Go clean my boots
Merlin: *steals Arthur's food for new girlfriend*

MEANWHILE... back at the CAVE
Cave-Girl: I am Freya! I am a druid girl.  You are nice. Look, your ears! No one has ever been as kind to me.
Merlin: I am the most genuinely sweet and sincere person in the world. Sometimes my eyes tear, see?  That's because I am the most genuinely sweet and sincere person in the world.  Look! I can elevate candles with my wicked-ass magic! * is cute*

Gaius: Sire, I think that there are killings from this big beastie thing that must be conjured by sorcery.
Uther Pendragon (looks like Rupert Giles): Let us kill ALL THE WITCHES and WARLOCKS AND SORCERERS TO DEATH! Find the escaped girl from the cage and kill her!
Bounty Hunters: DONE!

MEANWHILE..... back at Merlin and Gaius' house:
Gaius: Merlin, did you release that girl ?
Merlin: *is a terrible liar*
Gaius: I think she might be a cursed beastie. Look, I have this picture in this ancient tome to prove it...

MEANWHILE ....back at the Cave
Merlin: So you see, Freya, we should run away together where we can have a little wood house and eat cheese and bread and see a cow and a lake and stuff. Together. And conjure things with our magic. Being magic does not mean you're cursed; just happily different.  Here, I stole this dress from Lady Morgana who is not in this episode because she is resting up for when she has to become that majorly disastrously bad-ass villain she has been foreshadowed to become. So, she won't miss it.
Freya: I want to go with you, Merlin. Because you are like a bunny rabbit, how sweet you are and how misty your eyes and how be-dimpled your smile. Go pack provisions for our journey.
Merlin: *cluelessly besotted* Sure! I'll just leave you here.

MEANWHILE... the Clock strikes Midnight. Freya TURNS INTO A PANTHER WITH BAT WINGS....
--lunges to kill the knights of Camelot and that Prat Arthur ....then sees Merlin....which MELTS her panther's heart.

Freya: *no longer a panther w. bat wings* So you see, Merlin, I am dying from my curse.
Merlin: *CRIES* I shall take you to a lake and Lady of Shallott you in a boat for down-stream *takes her to a lake and does just so, cutely*
Freya: okay!
Merlin: *sends her in a boat and causes the boat to catch fire then CRIES*

MEANWHILE ....back at Merlin and Gaius' house
Gaius: I am sorry your girlfriend is dead. I will now hug you.
Merlin: I am sorry that I lied because I am the nicest guy in the world. Ever.

MEANWHILE....back at the PALACE:
Arthur: Merlin, you seem sad.  This makes me conflicted; because we're not really friends and I treat you like rubbish; but I also like you and am not sure how I understand this.  So, instead of talking it out I will give you a noogie  *gives Merlin a noogie*


1 comment:

Unknown said...

I am laughing so so hard right now!!