Jaime's getting a little sick of the regular same-old book hero
(I am secretly hoping she likes my Ray when she meets him). As in all guest posts, opinions are those of the author) A few Rachel thoughts: as an equalist, I don't always like the "aggressive, leading man" trope because I want men and women to be equal. What I like is confidence :) and what I like is strength in more ways than one. Some guys have physical strength--the type you see in the Rock, some guys have strength in swagger, like John Wayne--- but some guys have intellectual strength (Benedict Cumberbatch) and some guys have emotional strength --the strong, silent type. So what defines strength to you? Jaime raises a good discussion point, and I would love to hear your thoughts.... )
From Jaime:
I’m done with book heroes. Seriously. What happened to them?
They’ve all become … pasty. Ok. My husband tells me not to use all-encompassing
words like “all” because it’s not an accurate representation of truth. Fine. Most of the book heroes have become …
pasty.
I read a book the other day. The hero never argued, didn’t
bite back, and when he finally snapped – he apologized. Apologized? Instantaneously? It was enough to curdle my toes and
curl my stomach. So, I switched from inspirational fiction to general market.
That hero ripped the woman’s corset off (which means he needed hands of steel
because corsets don’t rip easily) and became as loving as a cave man on
pre-historic crack.
Where are the real
men in fiction, I ask? The ones who are temperamental, sweaty from labor (not other unmentionables), have pasts
that haunt, grip, and wound, and are brutes. My husband is a brute. I love it.
The other night I stubbed my toe and whined for about five minutes until he
looked up from his book and said “seriously, Hon, get over it”. Love. That.
Realism. Men are real. In so much
fiction today, in that situation, my husband would have leapt from his chair
after tossing his book five yards away from him. He would have cupped my
wounded foot in strong hands, peeled my sock off, stroked my toe, and bandaged
it. All while I was somehow perched in his lap. Then he would have moved in for
a kiss, or an almost kiss, and then the chapter would end and leave you
hanging.
That is not a real man. I’m lucky my husband even noticed I stubbed my toe.
Or maybe it is in your life. I suppose some sensitive souls
exist. Maybe. Somewhere.
Is it just me? We’re even at the point of celebrating finely
boned men, with cheekbones that demand blush, and skin that is more porcelain
than a baby’s. (I’m hearkening Orlando Bloom in my head – don’t kill me). What
happened to the strong, rugged Russell Crowe’s, or the husky-voiced Harrison
Fords, or the suave, debonair Cary Grants?
I want to venture (*disclaimer: this is my personal theory,
not based on statistics, theology, a college degree or anything more than two
shots of espresso and a refill) that society has drifted away from the strong
male for a primary reason:
1.
Female empowerment
Let me cut this down for you—and don’t bristle, I’m the
queen of female independence. Still…
As women, in the 21st Century, we want our individuality.
Whatever historical and societal issues exists, the fact remains, and will
always be there: We don’t want to be ruled by the strong male. Dominance.
Slavery. I call it the Cinderella-Effect. We want our dresses and the key to
our cell, so if we leave the prince standing aimless and heartbroken, it’s
because we wanted to. Ouch. Now
that’s something to be proud of, ladies. Let’s weaken our males so we can be
strong.
We daren’t marry the strong male type, or date, or even
entertain the idea for fear he’ll lock us away and we’ll be scraping pumpkin
off our shoes for the rest of our life. ERRR! Back up. The strong male type is
totally misconstrued. If you want to hearken Scripture, it doesn’t even define
the strong male as the ruler, king, or probably better termed, “the dictator”.
It defines the strong male as the protector, defender, leader, and the one who
takes the bullets. Well, hold up there. I’m a strong female. Horribly strong.
I’m totally willing to take bullets for my family, defend and even lead. But
there’s also something super attractive when the man steps up and says “I’ve
got this”. Super attractive. And when he reinforces my talents, my
intelligence, and my feminine strength, I suddenly don’t have issue with
playing follow the leader. Because, in reality, he’s holding my hand and we’re
in this together. Who doesn’t love a great team player? My husband empowers me.
He is my energy-force-field. He stands behind me, cherishes me, and sacrifices
for me. Now there’s a strong hero-type.
So back to fiction, now that I’m off my coffee-induced soap
box and have now raised a thousand theological eyebrows. This isn’t intended to
be an argument for submission vs. independence. It’s an argument for the man to
be … well … manly, again. And that as
women who want to be strong, we don’t emasculate the male into being stupid,
weak-kneed, Ray Romano idiot-types. God created men, ladies. That includes the fact that they just might not kiss our boos-boos, apologize like
sweet baby boy angels, and act all Victorian-gentlemanly. They just might
outright chuckle when we trip and face plant. They might even forget to apologize because in their
minds, that issue was done and over with three days ago, so why are you still
stewing about it?
I told my husband I already have his epitaph set and ready
for his gravestone. Get over it. It’s
his favorite catch-phrase and it’s reality. He’s dead. Move on. Get over it. Have
the life God intended and stop weeping over the grave that holds a lifeless
body when he’s perfectly happy in eternity.
I digress. In short, my point is this: I miss the real male
in fiction.
Can we write him again? Can we write the cowboy who forgets
to tip his hat in the direction of the lady? Can we write the hero who rides a
Harley with a blackened eye from a fist fight? And what about the
Bible-preaching preacher who tells his parishioner to stop sinning because it’s
just plain wrong—forget tip-toeing around the truth.
Bring back the MAN to the HERO.
That’s my cry.
That’s my plea.
Signed, yours truly,
And extremely independent female who appreciates a good,
strong, Godly, aggressive leading man.
About Jaime:
Professional coffee drinker Jaime Wright resides in the hills of Wisconsin writing spirited and gritty turn-of-the-century romance stained with suspense. Her day job finds her a Director of Associate Sales, Development & Relations. She’s wife to a rock climbing, bow-hunting youth pastor, mom to a coffee-drinking little girl and a Sippy cup-drinking baby boy, and completes her persona by being an admitted Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Blogspot junkie.
Jaime is a member of ACFW, enjoys mentorship from a best-selling author, and has the best critique partners EVER! (Yes, that's an exclamation point.) She was a semifinalist in ACFW’s 2013 Genesis contest and that alone encouraged excessive celebration over extra espresso with hazelnut syrup.