Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Bees in the Butterfly Garden by Maureen Lang



Bees in the Butterfly Garden has two BIG things going for it a. ) it’s a Christian Historical about THIEVES ( and no, not the lame Gown of Spanish Lace type) b.) Maureen Lang is a beautiful, beautiful writer.

Meg Davenport is your run-of-the-mill prep school sweetheart. She’s learned the ways of etiquette and propriety, she is bred to be a proper wife for a society man. But, when her father, who has long supported her tenure at boarding school and is proud of all she is learning from Mme. Marisse’s Handbook for Young Ladies, passes away and Meg learns his true identity and the true nature of her past, Meg’s world is turned upside down.


Meg’s father John Davenport was one of New York’s finest criminals. Wanting to spare Meg his life and ensure she was well set up among the echelon of the Fifth Avenue families he robs, he kept his true nature a secret from her in hopes that should he pass, Meg would be supported by a husband and a rich lifestyle. But, Meg’s too canny and too spirited to settle for her late father’s wishes. In fact, she’d much rather learn more about his past and try her hand at the family business among such hardened ne’er-do-wells as Pubjug and Brewster and others of her father’s crew. Her father’s protégé, however, the irrepressible Ian Maguire wants to honour John’s wishes and keep Meg from the underhanded business she is suddenly so curious about. All of Ian’s life he has heard Meg’s name praised to the skies by her father and now, with Meg in his path, a beautiful and refined young woman, he cannot imagine entrenching her in the shady lifestyle of her heritage.


When an inadvertent opportunity pairs Ian and Meg together to steal from one of the wealthiest families in New York, their paths cross as adversaries and suddenly as prospective courters. Meg discovers whether or not she has the heart for burglary and Ian begins to wonder if the slight tugging at his conscience comes from a higher place.


Though constant quotations ( seriously, beginning every chapter), took away from the flow of the story and loose ends wrapped up really well (as in as pertly and properly and easily as an episode of White Collar ), this was a fun, fast, energized and extremely well-written novel. Indeed, my first from Maureen Lang whose previous books I now want to seek out.


We all saw the cover and went “ooooo pretty!” when it was first released and the inside is pretty, too! I really enjoyed Lang’s attention to slight detail: the offerings of refreshment at an outdoor concert, the place settings and courses at an upper-crust dinner party, the marks and mars of Ian’s trade. It is obvious that Lang was suffused with a passion for the time period and its intricate complexities as she wound her way through the writing process. Meg’s penchant for flowers was also welcome. While faith of any sort seems rather light in the first half, the second half doles out plenty by way of redemption, mercy and grace, especially as emblemized through a painting of Christ and the two thieves at Golgotha. While this might seem a little too obvious a metaphor, Lang’s gentle evocation of the wistful and rueful effect it has on its viewers made it, in short, work as a tie to the Christian message.


I immediately sensed Ian’s fascination with Meg and, at first, am certain that it was borne of the duty he felt towards her father. It would have been easy, thus, to assume that the love of he felt for her was one more of idolization. However, the more circumstance threw the two of them together, Lang deftly interwove moments where their chemistry deepened---where Meg saw beyond Ian’s exterior as a talented crook and focused on the man he was (confused and hurt from his past ).


As mentioned, the plot threads tied up a little too nicely and the denouement occurred rather quickly. Ian’s planted “ excuse” to secure Meg’s protection in a scene and his explanation for a missing item didn’t quite seem credible to me, but, as I mentioned earlier---- this is kinda like White Collar and Ian kinda like Neal Caffrey ( is Caffrey now an archetype for dashing gold-hearted criminal who you can’t seem to stay mad at despite his erring of the law?--- and I kinda like White Collar.


Unique, smartly written and featuring characters who drink wine! Imagine! Also, featuring characters not quite black or white: who trust and serve God while performing tasks that maybe don’t QUITE inch up to the Ten Commandments.






Monday, February 04, 2013

At Drake's Command by David Wesley Hill


This novel not only had the best blog pitch I have ever read (shamefully, I have had it on my kindle since December and have been remiss in writing this blog post ), it has the best opening chapter of any book I can recall. Ever.

Reader, it is gripping.

It is subtitled The Adventures of Peregrine James During the Second Circumnavigation of the World  and it takes those of us smitten with nautical lore to a time and tide oft abandoned by novelists who would much rather pursue the great Napoleonic-era vessels of the late 18th and early 19th Century.

Its freshness, its panache; but also the skilled hand that leads us happily along are what solidified this as the best nautical story I have read since I turned the last page of The Final Unfinished Voyage of Jack Aubrey by Patrick O'Brian near a decade ago.

Let me start with the opening chapter....A Fine Morning to be Whipped... and a fine chapter to guide any of us who employ or passion for scribbling.  We meet Perry and we fall in love with him by the second sentence.

We are immediately thrust into the time and circumstance that led him to his unfortunate whipping post as the grey dankness of a November sky settles around him.   In just a few pages, Perry is given a reason to run off and join Drake, an entire backstory, a well-rounded bout of characterization. You will love him. 

I loved him immediately. If this book had instead been Perry's Adventures on Land Escaping Whipping Posts, you can bet I still would have read it.  

Nonetheless, and fortunate for those of us who enjoy a bit of the salty brine in our literary adventures, we are given a first-class glimpse into life aboard an Elizabethan-Era vessel. Hill has more than done his homework and descriptions such as the following pepper the fast-flying pages:

At the stern, a half deck and a poop deck were built above the main deck and on top of one another, so that the rear of the ship rose higher than the forepart, something like the posture of a cat crouching to strike. On the half deck I saw Drake, his fiery hair unmistakeable, as was his pose of command. 

While Cook's assistant Perry gets more than his fair share of unintentional espionage ashore, it is his life and the politics interred in the planks and shafts of the vessel that best caught my imagination.  To add, Hill's beautiful writing:

The ship shuddered like a horse preparing to gallop and then surged forward as one sail after another was set. I craned my neck and watched them swell with wind, a garden of strange and beautiful flowers blooming in the moonlight.  The highest sails, the topsails, had square red crosses in their centres, but the lower ones, the main courses, were plain white. Small dark blotches against the canvas were sailors balancing on lines far above the deck.

Hill doesn't hold back with the similes which spring the ship to life as a living, breathing entity and it is this reverence for a vessel: suffused with the breath and palpitating pulse supplied by the rigours and efforts of the men onboard 

Peregrine’s adventures are a series of vignettes ---from land and at sea--- interspersed with historical trimmings and sewn up together in great detail.  Marooned, kidnapped, on expeditions of espionage, for a lowly cook’s assistant, Perry is given a fine taste of life at a time when politics and warfare interwoven to an extent that test his conscience.

What struck me about Perry was how he was a perfect counterbalance of light, hearty adventure, riddled with a wry wit and a cunning way of capturing circumstance and a human who realizes his own misgivings and shortcomings. At the death of a friend and comrade, Perry turns to retrospection and consequently to moodiness. Perry is refreshingly human. To recall O’Brian, I was most taken by his series because of the depth of characterization. Here, I felt deeply for the characters ( even those in periphery are well-painted) and the myriad of circumstances that bind them together and rift them apart.


Hill’s grasp of dialogue and his apt attention to infusing fictional banter with historical gravity (especially when it comes to painting scenes from the history books with Frances Drake and Thomas Doughty in play ) is wonderful.


I cannot recommend this book highly enough to lovers of nautical fiction. Most know that I have waded through what seems an endless array of nautical stories in hopes of recapturing the feeling and essence that wafted from the pages of an O’Brian story--- often to no avail.  I cannot WAIT for the next adventure to hit stores.

For those who are uninitiated to nautical fiction; but are captivated by history ---there is enough in the pages of humour and adventure to keep you engaged.







I would like to thank the author for the opportunity to review this book and offer a mea culpa for my tardiness in this post 




The Magic of Ordinary Days by Ann Creel





 When I'd headed out here on my wedding day, I hadn't realized I'd bought a ticket to my own history, a different one from studying Akh-en-aten and Horizon-of-theAten, maybe but a living, ongoing one.

There's an unofficial literary trope (popular in the Christian romance world; but also rippling elsewhere) where love comes after marriage. Mail-order bride stories, marriages of convenience, marriages to secure reputation for a woman pregnant out-of-wedlock.

Several of these are saccharinely sweet and seem run-of-the-mill: a plot we have read a billion times. Nonetheless, it is a romantic trope I enjoy.

The Magic of Ordinary Days is by far the strongest literary offering to this story.  Creel has a way with words, with simple poetry, that steals into you and whisks you from where you are sitting to the colourful Colorado world she is painting with her well-selected words.

During the Second World War, Livvy becomes pregnant by a soldier who seems to forget about her as he steals off to the front lines. Her minister father arranges for her to wed a shy farmer about an hour out of La Junta, Colorado. She can deliver the baby and be part of a respectable family.

Livvy recognizes Ray immediately for the kind and gentle man he is. But, also for the limitations of his experience.  He is a beet farmer and while he receives special treatment for his integral work (gasoline unlimited during fuel rations, unlimited sugar to sweeten the beets), his life has been a secluded and lonely one---made more so by the passing of his brother Daniel at Pearl Harbour.

Ray is someone who will love completely anyone he has to love.  This greatly put me in mind of that old John Knowles quote from A Separate Peace : "When you love something it has to love you back in whatever way it has to love."   Livvy recognizes his peace and patience, yes, but she is still waiting for life around the corner.

She tells us:  I had never run in my life in order to meet men or find romance, although I wasn't immune to those things, either. I'd always dreamed that someday love would come into my life in some spectacular fashion. Probably it would happen in another country, on board a ship, most likely it would unfold during one of my future treks to uncover a secret history. One side of me knew that these were the dreams of an inexperienced girl, and yes, I was inexperienced in love; but it didn't bother me.


Olivia's dream was to become an archaeologist and excavate the earth for the past. When her mother got sick and the marriage of her sisters dictated that she be the one to care for the ailing woman, Olivia saw her dreams shelved. Now they are interred in some hidden place as she is flung out into the middle of nowhere- Colorado, an hour from the nearest library, bound to a man she cannot hope to understand. All the while, she is aware of the life growing inside her and how the baby's presence will plot her securely to the land even more. In short, Livvy's life seems to be over.


What Magic of Ordinary Days works well at is creating a pyramid of several interlocking events ---some historical---some fictional that tier upon one another in layers seemingly simplified by the narrative conjecture of a well-spun story. The interception of Ray's familial history and the arrowheads and artefacts Livvy unearths around the farm gently nudge this taut symbolism onward.

Olivia is right to recognize that "just listening to the radio news is a study in history, Especially now" as the Second World War ravages around her.  To bring the War more firmly to home soil, Creel presents us with two Japanese American women who work on Ray's farm: Lorelei and Rose. Their pride, their normalcy, their dedication to the land and to try and establish their right to live as Americans as they always have ( despite the immediate racism and prejudice incurred by Pearl Harbour) are a welcome way to bring the War Front to the idyllic farm life.


There are several lovely nuances to the story that exhume history in ordinary ways much as the title bespeaks ----the enchantment and surprise one can find during the seemingly redundant circumstances that silently stilt our lives along.

The most important aspect for me, was the burgeoning and well-trained love she began to experience for her husband.  Can one teach love? Can one learn to love? Creel would have us believe that circumstance and time and the right re-jigging of our personal preferences to explore new horizons would prove so.

In the past, Livvy explains, I would've listed things such as common interests, mutual attraction, worldliness and higher education.  My freedom above all else. If I had found love, it would have had to be the kind that overwhelmed and overpowered all else.

What she speaks above is direct to her personal experience for Ray loves her completely and it suffuses his every word and action since his arrival. At one point, as they start to explore physical intimacy, Livvy describes his touch over her curves as that lining the rim of a delicate china tea cup. He treats and explores her very much in the same way she delicately muses and delights over her priceless artefacts.  Ray loves her because she is his. She came to him. He doesn't know how else to exist other than to immediately love his new wife and their new baby.

Livvy quite realistically rails against this consuming love, especially as housed in the vessel of a shy and awkward farmer, but the more she studies Ray and the more she learns to accept that she deserves something so wholly consuming and pure, the more she can fall into his passion for her.  It takes time, though

I wanted to understand his love, to see it clearly before me, to put it into a form that I could roll around in my palm and examine like modelling clay. Or I wanted to write it with words of reason and illustrate it with romance. I wanted to study it as once I'd studied my books.

Livvy's lesson in accepting the grace-that-bowls-her-over of Ray's love is the same lesson she learns in forgiving herself for the momentary lapse of judgment that led her to sleep with an officer on furlough.


Yes, there is a trope--- a trope that sews everything from Sarah Plain and Tall to Love Comes Softly ---the story of the mail-order bride or the marriage of convenience. If you love these stories and if you want to read possibly the best and most thoughtful incarnation of a romance budding from circumstance and acceptance, then this is the book for you.







Saturday, February 02, 2013

Litfuse Blog Tour: Secretly Smitten

Just in time for Valentine's Day, romance lovers have the chance to steal away to the idyllic little logging town of Smitten. Therein, they'll find lampposts wreathed with twinkle lights, a main street with charming old-fashioned shops, a delightful cast of quirky characters and three sisters---and a mom--- who get a chance at love.


Kristin Billerbeck, Colleen Coble, Denise Hunter and Diann Hunt whisk you away in four separate but intertwining vignettes about four prospective relationships.

Think of it like a box of chocolates with a creamy centre.  The outside of the box features the girls' attempt to unravel the mystery of a pair of dog tags found in their grandma's attic and late of the Vietnam War.  This charming mystery provides the outer layer, inside, you can pick and choose whatever your favourite treat, bite in and taste the confectionary delight of four very different but very charming romances.

My favourites included the budding relationship between sweet widower Ryan ( who, ladies, runs the ice cream parlour in town and makes a mean chocolate fudge sundae) and Tess --- whose curves and outgoing demeanour and large heart make it hard for her to believe she will find true love. Especially with someone as handsome as Ryan ( even though she's secretly pined for him for years).

Zoe is eager to help skim off the shyness of her townspeople by creating and marketing a chance for them to get to know each other in a social and romantic setting. Cupid's Arrow seems the perfect match-making service but, unfortunately, William Singer is worried about how the enterprise will mar the perfect town and city regulations and codes he is so set on observing.

This book and its lovely little stories remind me very much of the saccharine fare of the Hallmark television movies (that even though I good-naturedly mock, I obviously enjoy) and that is just what we all need during this month dedicated to love and romance! So get some dark chocolate, pour yourself a sweet glass of pinot and sink into these light and lovely stories.

From  a stylistic viewpoint, I must admit that I was impressed with the way that four different authors with four completely different voices were able to weave together a stories that while quite different, stitch together quite seamlessly.


Litfuse Landing page here

Make sure to join the event:


RSVP Today!
Secretly Smitten Webcast Coble, Billerbeck, Hunter, Hunt






Friday, February 01, 2013

Book Love: Lori Benton

Good book day!

you can FINALLY pre-order the gorgeous Burning Sky from new Waterbrook author Lori Benton

Learn more here


PRE-ORDER:




'The Blue Castle' for Femnista

Well..... we all know that my favourite love story is Barney and Valancy's in The Blue Castle.

In this month's Femnista I explore my life-long love with my favourite romance of all time.


READ HERE: 


Readers of The Blue Castle know that the train is a big part of it. Here's the CPR in Bala, Muskoka where Maud set her imaginative tale.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Archetypes in Christian Romance





I read Christian Romance( mostly historical ) that's what I do. I have done this since I was a child and I read probably about 100 of these books a year.


Like any other genre or sub-genre, it comes with its own archetypes.



I am currently reading the pitch-perfect and deliciously edgy Bees in the Butterfly Garden which pairs our Christian heroine with a thief and a rather illustrious skill-set for deceit


Well-known author ( and one of my favourite bloggers), Kaye Dacus, posted about some of the Romance archetypes we find in the classic Damsel and the Warrio Hero metrics of the fiction; but also about some of the archetypes we find in Christian Historical Romance. It put me in mind of the book I am currently reading....


"In inspirational romance, we have our own set of stereotypes to deal with: the pioneer widow who must marry a stranger to survive; the nineteenth century teacher who’s gone west to teach and bring God’s word to the heathens; missionaries and preachers; secretaries; characters with jobs so vague as to be nonexistent; ranch owners who take in wayward boys; the good Christian girl who must “save” the backslidden or non-Christian hero; and so on."



I always find Kaye's blog posts interesting; but this post was particularly thought-provoking-- Especially as I was having a similar conversation with Joanne Bischof on facebook yesterday---particularly her collective decision with her editor to make her hero, Gideon, more of a rake than would be anticipated in the genre.

What archetypes do you notice most in Christian Historical Romance? Are there some that drive you batty?

Who are you favourite Christian heroes?  my TOP 5
---though I might have to re-do the list because I have read so many books since then >


I look forward to publishing my review of Kaye's new book Follow the Heart ( a sumptuous Victorian romance set during the Great Exhibition) shortly 



Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Litfuse Blog Tour: Safe In His Arms by Colleen Coble



Born and raised on sprawling Texas land, Margaret O’Brien prides herself on her competence as a rancher. But her father believes she’s made for more than just dawn-to-dusk work. He wants her to have the love of a good man, to raise children, to build a life. But Margaret gave up such dreams years ago. She’s convinced no man would have her, that the ranch is her life now.

So when Margaret’s father hires Daniel Cutler as a new foreman, she’s frustrated and suspicious. Then an overheard conversation links him with a gang of bank robbers, and she’s downright worried. Daniel swears he’s not involved, but Margaret’s not convinced. She knows the man still has secrets. But would a criminal be so kind and talk so convincingly of his faith? As a series of tragic “accidents” threatens all she holds dear, Margaret must decide what to trust: her own ears, her best judgment . . . or what her heart keeps telling her.

From the author of the best-selling Blue Moon Promise . . . an exciting tale of danger, romance, and faith played out under Texas stars.


I have to confess that this tour crept up on me and I haven't finished reading the book yet. You will note that I have been posting intermittently of late and that is a result of a few personal projects that have been taking my time and that I can share with you later.

I can tell you that devoted readers of Colleen Coble's work ( and there are many ) will feel at home in this world.   Readers who are looking for their next Western romance and adventure have also come to the right party.  I have yet to read the first in the series Blue Moon Promise and while I am aware of over-lapping characters, I have caught on rather quickly ---such is the gift of an author who is able to work on stringing threads from previous novels together while making them work as stand-alones.

Coble has a wide historical and contemporary range and her storytelling ability and light characterization easily sweep all eras.

While, unfortunately, I am not able to infuse more of my personal opinions of the story so early in my reading of it, I can say whole-heartedly that Coble knows her marketplace and writes for the enjoyment of her readers.   I hope you've found your next read! 



I received this copy through the Publisher 

Guest Post: Karen Schreck and COVER REVEAL


While He Was Away Walmart-Exclusive Cover Reveal
 and How Inspiration Can Come From Anywhere:
Even a Trip to the Grocery Store and a Handful of Long-Lost Photographs
By Karen Schreck


I sometimes wonder what my mother would say if she knew that her story—one of the saddest, sweetest love stories I’ve ever heard—was retold in a new way in my young adult novel, While He Was Away.

Now Sourcebooks Fire is sharing the story yet again, in a second, exclusive edition, released nation-wide at Walmart.  The fact that Sourcebooks believed enough in While He Was Away to bring it to life the first time felt like a much-needed confirmation of years of hard work.  The fact that they are standing behind my book again in this way . . . well, it feels like a miracle.  I’m truly grateful.

I wonder what my mother would say to this incredible news? I like to think she would be grateful too.  I like to think she would be happy.  She wanted her story heard after all.  So much so that it was one of the last things she told me, just before she died.

One rainy night when I was fourteen, right before cancer left her to ill to talk, let alone drive a car, my mother said, “Come with me.  We’re going shopping.”  We drove to the little local market and wandered up and down the aisles, as she threw in a can of tuna, some dishwashing soap, and other little things we didn’t need.  We paid for these little things.  She looked anxious and tired, still she hadn’t said a thing; we hadn’t spoken a word.

It was only when we were parked in our driveway again that my mother said, “I was married once before when I was very young.  He died a hero in WWII.”

And that was that.  Soon after, she died.

I thought about my mother’s mysterious love story for many years.  I talked to relatives, found long-lost photographs.  The story took seed in me.  It flowered into a novel about a young women whose boyfriend leaves for the Iraq War.  In her loneliness, she seeks out a grandmother she’s never met, whose first husband died in WWII.  She seeks out a character inspired by mother.

A late night drive, a few words spoken in the dark.  Even things as simple as this can inspire a novel.




Friday, January 25, 2013

When People I Know and Like Write Books....

...when people I know and like write books I must, must promote them.

You can be order Allison Pittman's All for A Song RIGHT NOW.

We like Allison.

( I am looping you, unsuspecting reader, into this like. trust me. WE LIKE ALLISON)

anyways,

GO FORTH AND ORDER THIS BOOK.

That way, when you hear me talk about it in a little while at further detail you'll be, all, OOOOO! I knows what's going on......





Thursday, January 17, 2013

the return of 'Les Miserables'

Face it, everyone loved the film and now those who have seen the stage show a billion times (like myself) and the film version: and perhaps the film version and a concert; but never a stage version--- have the opportunity to see it on stage again.

This was only a matter of time because Toronto loves  Les Miserables and we were awesome enough to have Colm Wilkinson here for years ( he lives here, you know, and has done since Phantom) But what is EQUALLY awesome is that Ramin Karimloo, another great theatre star from Toronto, has been signed to play Jean Valjean when it returns in September.

The Mirvish season opens with Ramin Karimloo as Valjean!


Read here



Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Litfuse Blog Tour: The Tutor's Daughter by Julie Klassen


I am kind of doing double-duty on The Tutor’s Daughter and will be writing a feature review for the Novel Crossing website in the near future.  << UPDATE: HERE IS THAT REVIEW>>

However, OBVIOUSLY, I wanted to take part in the Litfuse blog tour  and want to give you a taste of a few of the exceptionally readable parts of this compelling tale:

Take note….

If you like Jane Austen you have come to the right party. As fast as you can say Northanger Abbey, The Tutor’s Daughter scales the great cliffs of Cornwall, its haunted old stone churches and its treacherous seascapes and paints this lugubrious canvas with mystery, intrigue and ROMANCE…. Yes! ROMANCE!

So, a few snapshots of what you are getting yourself into:

Those Wily Westons:

There’s dashing and amiable Philip and Darcy-esque Henry ( who is, of course, outwardly brooding and tortured and surly for a good reason) and two spirited younger brothers under the tutelage of Emma Smallwood’s father

There’s EMMA:
A feisty bookworm who, just like me, would rather shove her trunks full of books instead of clothes (duh!) when preparing a trip to the coast. Her journal entries? Divine.  Her Jane Eyre-esque penchant for hearing soft noises and music at night? SO Thornfield. Her annoyance with the insufferable flirt Lizzie? The same annoyance I would have.


The world of The Tutor’s Daughter takes us to a different kind of estate than the previous manors introduced in Klassen’s Regency Fiction.  The sea pairing and the whirling history and mystery surrounding the tale will leave you with the best kind of chills. Indeed, I am not usually thrown off the scent as a reader, but even I was left guessing as to motive and outcome…..

Check out this LifeWay video wherein Julie answers questions on Christian fiction and Publishing and her passion for Jane Austen:




Make sure you go to the LITFUSE LANDING PAGE to visit the other tour stops.

I received this book care of Bethany House in exchange for an honest review.

Today's stops:

1/16/2013
Chelsey | Charming Chelsey's
Lydia Harris | Squidmom
Paula | The Phantom Paragrapher
Athena | Our Crazy Life
Rachel | a fair substitute for heaven
LaTawnia | LaTawnia Kintz Reviews
Danielle | The Happy Wife




Friday, January 11, 2013

Silas Marner (BBC 1985): the Condensed Version


(note: I haven’t read this book since High School; but I think this adaptation stands up? I mean, it seems similar….doesn’t it?  YAH!)




SILAS MARNER: CONDENSED 

BEN KINGSLEY: I DID NOT STEAL that guy’s gold. I  have CATALEPSY which means sometimes I just fall asleep for no reason.  I was watching over that guy and I fell asleep and somebody else stole the gold.

WILLIAM DANE: I used to be your best friend; but I needed gold.  LOOK HERE, church elders:  HERE IS BEN KINGSLEY’s pocket knife !  IT IS PROOF! PROOF THAT HE STOLE THE GOLD!

CHURCH ELDERS: YOU MUST BE GONE!

BEN KINGSLEY’S FIANCEE: I no longer want to marry you, you GOLD STEALER


BEN KINGSLEY: Okay, Okay. I get it. I’m a leper from this community and you don’t want me in church. Fine. I’ll just go and wander about. You stupid Calvinists. I am wandering the Midlands until I settle somewhere.  I might be dejected; but I CAN STILL WEAVE!
 *wanders* 
 Oh look! Raveloe! Good Name! Good Cottage. I will weave things here and be an anti-social outcast and scorn community because I was BETRAYED BY CALVINISTS and church is kinda for mean people who accuse other people.
*weaves*
And I am going to store up all the GOLD that I am given as PAYMENT by these here Raveloeans….erm… Raveloeites?  ….THESE HERE TOWNSPEOPLE!.....
And I am going to HIDE it under the floor boards after counting it each night and revel in its awesomeness. I am like a Victorian Rumplestiltskin, so I am.
*counts gold. Hides gold*

DUNSTAN CASS: *strolling through the forest* What have we here?  A guy who is standing up and sleeping at the same time? Weird! Oh! It’s that weaver! Oh look! He dropped his gold. Odd to have SO MUCH GOLD WHILE SLEEPING WHILE STANDING UP IN THE FOREST. Mayhap I should steal it. Because this plot doesn’t have enough to do with GOLD.
*thinks of stealing it*

BEN KINGSLEY: *suddenly awake and no longer in catatonic fit*: were you going to steal my gold? Shame! It’s mine. FORSOOTH!

DUNSTAN CASS: *goes to pub, tells everyone that Ben Kingsley has lots of gold*

BEN KINGSLEY *does nothing to hide his gold in a better spot than underneath the floor board*

DUNSTAN CASS: *steals the gold*


MEANWHILE:

DUNSTAN’S DOUCHEBAG OLDER BROTHER: How are you, secret wife who is addicted to opium?  How have you been neglecting my child who just sits here all blonde and cute while you go and imbibe opium?

OPIUM ADDICTED SECRET WIFE : arasdgjkl;sadjkfj ajdsklf; jkld!!!! I am a terrible mother *imbibes opium*

DUNSTAN’S DOUCHEBAG OLDER BROTHER:  Never mind, secret wife, I will leave you and our child until you clean up your act.  Meanwhile, I’mma gonna go home where my DAD is a SQUIRE and ignore you and your plight and your opium addiction and this cherub who is my daughter. 

OASW: asdjkf jadks;f jkal;ds jfkl;ajdkfl jaksld; jfkljk!!!

DUNSTAN’S DOUCHEBAG OLDER BROTHER: I shall host a big Christmas dance and everyone will dance as they do in those Jane Austen films. Ah, look! Sister Julienne from Call the Midwife. You are fair. Even though I am married and have a daughter, I shall claim you and your porcelain skin.

SISTER JULIENNE: You be the DASHINGEST!

AND THEN…..

BEN KINGSLEY: nwjkl;lasdkjfkla;j dkfljk!  MY GOLD! IT IS STOLEN! I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR! IT WAS ALL I HAD IN THE WORLD! I LOVED HOARDING GOLD! No. NO! I don’t want a new hobby. I just wantz more GOLD GOLD GOLD!

MEANWHILE….outside…..

OASW: I shall bring my child to SQUIRE CASS’ estate and crash their party! HEYO! With my daughter in TOW! And he shall claim his daughter and I shall get more opium money. Oh wait. I die…. I DIE…. The world is blurry before mine eyes…. Too. Much. Opium. Daughter, daughter, where are you going?

*daughter crawls into Ben Kingsley’s cottage*





BEN KINGSLEY: egads! A baby!  With golden hair! GOLD! This is the GOLD I NEED!  THIS SYMBOLIC GOLD
*checks outside*
Looks like her mother is dead. I guess I’ll just adopt her. Why not?
*goes and peeks into the Cass Estate Party*
Hey all! I’m that reclusive weaver whose gold was stolen. Mind if I keep this baby ? her mother is dead outside in a ditch.

DUNSTAN’S DOUCHEBAG OLDER BROTHER *somewhat conflicted* Dead Opium Addicted Secret Wife. My. But, I guess this means I can get engaged to Sister Julienne.  Wanna marry ,Sister Julienne?

SISTER JULIENNE: sure thing!

DUNSTAN’S DOUCHEBAG OLDER BROTHER: Here, for your services in helping this abandoned “orphan”, I give you some gold. Buy food and stuff for the child.

BEN KINGSLEY: I SHALL CALL HER EPPIE! She shall stay with me while I weave. She is better than gold.  I also think that I can start finding a way back into the community! Mayhap these people are not so bad. MY LIFE HAS BEEN CHANGED!
*goes all Jean Valjean *

SISTER JULIENNE: It appears that I cannot have children

DUNSTAN’S DOUCHEBAG OLDER BROTHER: WHAT? How!????  This sucks. I wanteth CHILDREN. I mean I already have… but…. I mean. I WANTETH CHILDREN!

*years pass. Eppie grows up all beautiful and rural and rustic and pastoral and likes to weave flowers in her flowing locks. She takes up with a local farm boy and as fast as you can say: Hand me that Pitcher, has found love and happiness*

BEN KINGSLEY: Eppie, you are the light of my heart. YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN GOLD!

EPPIE: WHAT IS IT WITH THIS STORY AND GOLD? Also, with Calvinists?

DUNSTAN’S DOUCHEBAG OLDER BROTHER: So you see, Sister Julienne, the weaver’s ward, Eppie, is actually my child. We shall claim her and bring her here. Also, it looks like my brother Dunstan stole Silas Marner’s gold. Look, here is his corpse all rotted and interred in the earth. There is gold near it.

SISTER JULIENNE: I am surprisingly unrattled that you had another secret wife and failed her so that she died of an opium addiction. Also ,that you abandoned your only child to live with that strange reclusive weaver. Whatever you say. Love ya!

DUNSTAN’S DOUCHEBAG OLDER BROTHER: I want Eppie back, Ben Kingsley, she is mine.

BEN KINGSLEY *tears*

EPPIE: BUT HE RAISED ME. You’re THE DEFINITION OF DEADBEAT DAD! You suck!  I am staying here. I am marrying my farmboy. You can take your squiredom and your estate and go to…to… HALIFAX

BEN KINGSLEY: this is touching. Indeed, this is a touching way to end the movie.  You, Eppie, and you, Farmboy, go and get married and stay by me the rest of your lives.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

It's Redeeming!

Sorry for the silence, friends. I have been extremely busy at a work conference.

As well as being nominated for several Academy Awards, I was THRILLED to see that Les Miserables tops Christianity Today's list of 10 Most Redemptive Films of 2012

Read here:

Also, Breakpoint editor ( and our friend), Gina Dalfonzo, wrote about its redemptive nature on the Breakpoint Blog (and even mentioned my review in the Further Reading portion)

And, BRAND NEW, Gina added this insightful piece to Breakpoint citing Plugged In and rallying Christians who have heard ill of the film to take the plunge.

Read my review of the film here


We must never complain that Hollywood is devoid of faith-based stories!






Saturday, January 05, 2013

Condensed 'White Collar': S 4. Ep. 1: WANTED

Soon, friends, White Collar season four returns. Some of you are all, like; but RACHEL, that aired so long ago (Summer) and I CANNOT REMEMBER what happened! Fear not! I gotz your back, friends. I have recaps of the book-end episodes ( the two best episodes ) to refresh your memory:

I give you: ULTRA-CONDENSED WHITE COLLAR 

 


PREVIOUSLY ON WHITE COLLAR:

PETER: YOU STOLE THE ART! IT WAS YOU! 

NEAL: PROVE IT [but he really actually stole it]

BEAU BRIDGES: I want NEAL to work with me in WASHINGTON! 

PETER: but that would SEVER our bromance. besides, I am the only one who can handle NEAL! I understand him! HE COMPLETES ME! 

MOZZIE: I want to go to an island in the sun

NEAL: *torn* I love you Mozzie, and I want an Island in the sun; but I also love PETER and EL and JUNE and this little family in NEW YORK! plus, my FATHER is dead and ELLEN! ELLEN is back in my life. Kinda.

BEAU BRIDGES: I am ONTO YOU! I am arresting you and taking you to WASHINGTON FOREVER

PETER: *looks at NEAL and shakes his head, which in WHITE COLLAR LAND means: RUN! RUN AWAY!, NEAL! RUN!*


NEAL: *cuts his anklet, leaves New York and looks sullen on an airplane*




ON A BEACH IN ONE OF THOSE HOT PLACES
NEAL: *glistening, walks out of the water a la the same shot they used in Casino Royale when Daniel Craig was sporting his shorty shorts*

MOZZIE: This is the LIFE! 

NEAL: I kinda miss New York sometimes; but look! a disposable love interest...
DISPOSABLE LOVE INTEREST: I disposably love you

MOZZIE: *drinks sangria*

NEAL: *is in cahoots with some Island thief*


MEANWHILE.... back in NEW YORK
BAD FBI AGENT: I WANT CAFFREY and I WANT HIM NOW! 

PETER: put up roadblocks and wanted posters!! 

BAD FBI AGENT: FIND him and bring him to MEEEE!

PETER: *perturbed* this isn't fair! He's my BESTIE! *mopes*


MEANWHILE in a FORD which is the most AWESOME CAR in the world and there is NOTHING like A FORD, EL and PETER are on STAKEOUT [in a FORD]
PETER: *eats devilled ham*

EL: You miss Neal. I can tell because we don't need to speak, our love is so silently strong. Also, this FORD can read my deepest thoughts and desires, so cool it is.

PETER: *off-handedly smirks about NEAL being difficult. But, really he is ACHING inside*

EL: So FBI BAD GUY wants NEAL

PETER: we should find this ELLEN person. I need to get to NEAL and warn him. Let's DRIVE this AMAZING FORD SOMEWHERE AMAZING


AT ELLEN'S:
PETER: i'm a friend of NEAL'S

ELLEN: GO AWAY


AT ELLEN'S:
EL *magically* would you like to come to my house in brooklyn and tell my husband and I where NEAL is?

ELLEN: *shrugs* you're pretty and nice. fine.




MEANWHILE BACK AT THE BEACH IN ONE OF THOSE REALLY HOT PLACES:
NEAL: *cahoots with other beach-y con guy*

DISPOSABLE LOVE INTEREST: serves sangria

MOZZIE: "this is the life, Lolana"* talks to his bobble-head hula girl doll*

NEAL: Look! i'm going to make an elaborately ornamented sandcastle and add Christmas lights.


MEANWHILE BACK AT THE BURKE'S
PETER *torn and saddened* : So you see, ELLEN, if anything happened to NEAL, I would just throw myself off a cliff. It might seem odd my emoting like this about another man in front of my wife, but she feels the same way; because NEAL is our FAMILY. 

SATCHMO: *growls jealously*

ELLEN: here's NEAL'S top secret pager number

PETER: thanks!




LATER THAT NIGHT [still at the BURKE'S]
PETER *pages the TOP SECRET PAGER while making a sandwich, presumedly devilled ham*
Later than THAT:*his cell phone rings*

[brrrrrring.....brrrriiiiinnnnnggg......]
NEAL* from beach house*: ELLEN is that you! 

PETER: no, it's PETER

NEAL: I was kinda sleeping here Peter, let me run out onto the sand while the moon catches my wavy black hair

PETER: *bites sandwich* Sure, I can wait

NEAL* now on the sand as it ripples like a ribbon on the waves and shards of moonlight catch his chiselled face and peppered stubble*: Peter, I am not coming back to New York

PETER: there is a BAD FBI guy after you I NEED TO PROTECT YOU! *emotes*

NEAL: I appreciate you and I miss you; but my life is here on the beach with Mozzie and cavorting with this criminal and drinking sangria with my disposable love interest

PETER: be careful 

PETER:*TRACKS NEAL'S location and DIANA and JONES set up a big operation in the dining room* 

NEAL*: throws cell phone ruefully into the water and ALMOST CRIES*


AT THE FBI:
DISTINGUISHED FBI SENIOR GUY WHO IS IN A FEW EPISODES NOW AND THEN: Do you know where Caffrey is?

PETER: I must go to him

DFSGWIIAFENAT: fine. but let it be on your conscience. this is not bureau business.


MEANWHILE in the ISLAND in the SUN
NEAL:* gets deeper and deeper with this bad guy*

DISPOSABLE LOVE INTEREST :*serves sangria at the bar*

MOZZIE: *talks to Lolana and has a good time with a hawaiian shirt on*


MEANWHILE PETER shows up on THE ISLAND  in a MINT green POLO SHIRT and goes to the nearest hat shop
PETER: have you seen this guy! he wears hats

HAT SHOP GUY: yes!


....THEN PETER GOES TO THE BAR WHERE THE DISPOSABLE LOVE INTEREST WORKS:
PETER: have you seen this guy

DISPOSABLE LOVE INTEREST: *conflicted* umm.... he's kinda hiding around here

BAD FBI GUY: LOOK who SHOWED UP, suckers! *holds up wanted posters* I want THIS guy *points to picture of NEAL'S face with disdain* I WANT HIM DEAD OR ALIVE!  See, Burke, you're not the only person who got here immediately after commercial break. WARP SPEED! have a sangria!
 
GUYS AT THE BAR: we want MONEY! *run out in all directions to find NEAL for cash reward*

PETER: *so angry and traumatized he forgets his wallet on the bar dashes over to BAD FBI GUY* YOU CAN'T HURT MY CI! I will foil your villainous plot and I will save Neal like the wonderfully moral emblem of greatness that I am! 

Little ISLAND URCHIN *steals PETER'S wallet from bar*

BAD FBI GUY: *snortles* Your WALLET was stolen; but you can FIND CAFFREY and bring him to ME and get the billion dollar reward

PETER: *harumphs* YOU SUCK



IN THE STREETS PETER chases the LITTLE ISLAND URCHIN around and then up a steep staircase.
PETER: *hears NEAL'S voice and dies of happiness*

NEAL: hiding behind a door* COME ON IN

PETER: *comes in! *

NEAL:* hands PETER his wallet*

PETER *looking like he just won a million bucks and its his birthday and he is on a treasure hunt with old flags while riding a unicorn, so happy is he, HUGS NEAL for a long time*

NEAL *looks with the I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM LOVED look*

MOZZIE: Suit! 

PETER: that other FBI GUY IS BAAAAAAAAAAAD! he wants your blood! 

MOZZIE: everyone wants our blood because we have a bounty on our heads!

NEAL: *calm and collected* Let's STAGE A PLAN! 





Stay tuned: next time NEAL and PETER find out IMPORTANT PAST THINGS ABOUT NEAL'S PAST with TREAT WILLIAMS and they GO TO A CONVENTION.