The Summer of You by Kate Noble

So Ruth, who is never wrong, told me to read The Summer ofYou by Kate Noble and the way she talked about it made me want to go and buy it immediately. So I did, and then read it rather quickly.

Think steamy Georgette Heyer that plays with narrative device.  Observe: I said steamy. This is not one of the squeaky clean historicals you sometimes find on this blog. If you are offended by steamy scenes then you are probably not going to like this book and should stick to your Heyer. You have been warned.

But if you don’t mind, oh I don’t know, perhaps the hottest sex scene I have ever read in a Regency ( made more so because the sexual tension was so wonderful infused and borne outta friendship and the guy---the Rochesterian misunderstood thought-to-be-a-Highwayman guy--- is such a dish ) then you are in for a treat. (Note: this book is more than this scene; but there is this scene, so I am letting you know )

Lady Jane leaves the ton and her society with her boring and horrible brother and retreats to the Cottage: a massive mansion in the Lake District with their ailing father who is suffering from the side effects of dementia.

From the first, Lady Jane is out of place: receiving visitors, planning social events, wandering the town… she has no one who “gets” her and while she enjoys the female company she keeps ( this book excels at painting lovely female friendships ) she wants something more.  She finds it, in the figure of Byrne Worth: a wounded war veteran who lives at the edge of her family’s property and is renowned as the surliest most uncouth man in the history of time.  When Lady Jane meets him, however, they form an immediate bond ( she may ALSO have noticed his fine figure when she stumbles upon him swimming en dishabille in the cold pond ) and she gives him jam and he gives her a special kind of tea and La! They become friends.

And this, ladies, is where the book gets really good and ends up winning the honourable mention of other books of its ilk ( think The Blue Castle, Venetia, the Black Sheep ): Friendship. Romance borne of friendship.  This isn’t “she doth make the torches burn bright” love at first sight crap with no substance. No, Lady Jane and Worth get each other, talk to each other enjoy ---and eventually --- crave each other’s company. The physical ( and it gets physical ) attraction that blossoms out of that does so gracefully, subtly and oh-so-believably.

Who wouldn’t want to marry their best friend?  When they finally consummate a passion borne out of similar personalities and traits--- it is seemingly more intense and beautiful because it is not something strewn from objective desire.  Certainly they are attracted to each other; but they have a foundation from which to springboard that attraction.

Pepper in some hijinks and familial problems and a few sideline romances and a ball and you have a fun regency getaway that is told by a much more competent pen than many contemporaries. Not only does Noble infuse her story with a careful and impressive knowledge of regency history, she does so in a winking sing-song manner,  devilish and deviant, pulling you aside and coaxing you along: nudging you closer and further as excited to tell—as you are to read--- the next portion of the tale.

I mentioned before that I was absolutely smitten with the range of narrative perspectives and I remain so.  Noble’s unexpected switches of points of view are nothing short of textbook.  She knows how to seamlessly transition and leaves you without a jolt. If she suddenly changes to a secondary character’s viewpoint it seems as easy as pie and natural as all get out.

I know that had I seen this book on a shelf I never would’ve picked I up.  But that’s the great thing about bookish people, they share and give you the insider scoop.  Someone gave this insider scoop to me and I am giving it to you.

I leave you with a few awesomely fun snippets:

“Later that summer, when the atmosphere was beginning to dip into autumn, Jane would be able to look back and pinpoint this moment in time---the moment of Byrne Worth’s lascivious delicious grin---as the moment that the earth hit a bump and the winds changed their course and the great northern heat wave of 1816 began.”

“There was a moment, so slight Byrne could not count its passing, that those eyes held him rooted to the ground.”

“Jane had infiltrated, her cinnamon scent stale in the air, like leftover spiced tea. He shouldn’t be surprised, but he was. She had wormed her way into his daytime thoughts; his unconscious was simply catching up.”

“There was nothing like a party to remind a person that the world was larger than their own frustration”

“But… a small worry pricked the back of her mind. Those other gentlemen…nothing would change with a kiss. With Byrne, would it change the way they spoke to each other? Would it colour every conversation that was to come, every time they ran into each other between their houses, every look? And, suddenly it mattered to Jane. It mattered, she realized, because he was her friend.”

“He could chalk up his actions last night as a product of stars…”

“new Jane who discovered the ability to be bold and vulnerable at once.”

that one time when fiction/fact blurred and ALL OF CUTTER GAP had twitter accounts

It is an interesting age to live in, cookies.

An age in which if you have ever felt the need to cathartically yell at a character who p*sses you off you can DO SO!

omg let' s just pretend this is their wedding

An age wherein MOST OF THE FICTIONAL CAST of "Christy" in an odd book/adaptation hybrid have taken to twitter and to, in some cases, recapping scenes in 140 characters.  The best part, all TRUE to each character's voice.

Now, I have read thousands of books in my lifetime ( no hyperbole. tis fact) and I have never hated any character more than I hate David Grantland.  Just irrational hatred. Doesn't matter what incarnation: book or television adaptation. David Grantland and I are not friends.  Before Twilight Heck--even after Twilight,  this is the best literary love triangle ever ( except it's more of a duo because David sucks). TRIVIA: Meg Cabot even shouts out to Christy and the dilemma of two men to win her hand in The Princess Diaries.

I hate David he is useless.




and now, thanks to the power of twitter and the devious and insane amount of fun I get from it, I can coax, cajole and bury David in words of *bitingly incendiary wit

(*I like to think they are bitingly incendiary and full of wit)


Whether you're on Team Neil or Team David ( wait. there is no Team David, is there?) or you think a social experiment wherein actual humans cloak themselves in fictional identities that, I think might actually entertain Catherine Marshall, welcome to Twitter--- Cutter Cap-style

There are several Christy Huddlesons on twitter ( also Anne Shirley and Jane Eyre, whodathunk); but this is the account I follow:

@DavidGrantland ( written by a friend of mine) 
@macneil_neil (amazing. who ARE you )
@c_hudd 
@QuakersareFun

I believe the same pitch-perfect voice at the helm of C_Hudd is responsible for Miss Alice and Neil MacNeill.

note: Neil MacNeill on twitter is the greatest thing to ever happen

second note: someone on facebook told me that they guy who plays Neil MacNeill is actually Australian and not actually Scottish. Which ruined my childhood.

If this makes any sense to you or amuses you whatsoever, ain't no PARTY like an S Club Party, know what I'm sayin'

third note: if the person who tweets as Neil would reveal her/themselves ( there is no way this is a guy. If it is, proposal to come shortly ) then we can all bask in your glory and follow your real-live twitter account ( irony intended)

TV Review: When Calls the Heart Episodes I-III

If you harbour even a moticum of interest in Inspirational Fiction, you know that we would never have a market were it not for Catherine Marshall and Janette Oke.

Michael Landon Jr. and the folks at Hallmark have done for Oke's Canadian West series in When Calls the Heart what CBS did for Christy in the 1990s: given it a vibrant revitalization on the small screen.

Opening with a two-part homage to the original story of Elizabeth Thatcher and her handsome red-coated Mountie, Wynn Delaney, the Hallmark series now offers episodic vignettes of life in an early 20th Century Canadian mining town. Here, another Elizabeth Thatcher teaches children out of a saloon due to the lack of schoolhouse and Constable Jack Thornton arrives gloriously on horseback to act as law-provider for a town still bereaved by a tragic explosion months before. To put it lightly, former city girl Elizabeth and frontier-man Jack do not hit it off the cuff; but that, fair readers and prospective watchers, is what is delicious about these stories.

The production value is wonderful and Canadians will rejoice in the moments which reference Lethbridge and Medicine Hat: more still, take pride in the red-serged Royal Northwest Mounted Policeman who maintains the right while (slowly) winning the hand of the pretty schoolteacher.

If this sounds like a familiar convention in these kinds of historicals, it is.  But it owns it.  This is a nice hybrid to settle between Christy and Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman: a romantic look into a simpler time rift with hardships we moderners can scarce fathom.

I love stories like this. I love the lack of cellphones or immediate need for speed of technology. I love that a hand-brush is far more romantic than whatever full-cover nudity you'll see on the latest HBO series. I love that it is stripped of the conniving soapy antics that plague Downton Abbey. This historical is made for those who appreciate a strong, historically-accurate, ripple of faith; but also just appreciate quality television.

I was fortunate enough to view the first three episodes (poor Canadians, this is not shown anywhere here yet--- so keep an eye on amazon for the  DVD) and I was impressed, as mentioned, by the production values and warm writing :not unlike a patched quilt sewn with anecdotes and timeless Old Wives Tales. I also enjoyed the acting!!! Great cast!  It put me greatly in mind of Sunday evenings as a child when I would rush home from church to catch Road to Avonlea on the CBC. When Calls the Heart is inherently nostalgic: for those familiar with Oke's work, yes; but also for those who just enjoy a time period that seeps gently into your psyche.

Did I mention he is a MOUNTIE :)

I had mentioned that my first feel for the series offered me a glimpse at the hardships of mountain pioneer life and  I want to speak to this a little further as probably the strongest tenet of the series.  You really, seriously get a glimpse at what lies behind the curtain of romanticism bookish dreamers, such as myself, have created for the golden olden days.   You realize how dastardly doing laundry in the winter would be and Elizabeth, adjusting to life away from her grand estate, is met with an untimely stove fire and the dark burgeoning shadows of the outhouse .

I was immediately addicted to the main characters, include Elizabeth and Jack; but loved the subtle intertwining of secondary characters that will, I am sure, creep deeper into my heart the longer I watch.
In short, if you are like me at all ( and I know several of you blog readers are ) THIS , THIS is what we have been waiting for. It's our ideal escapism: all tea cozy and rose-patterned, laced with morality and spiced with enough romance to keep our spunky schoolteacher ( SHE IS SO STRONG AND WONDERFUL) gazing out her window for a stetson and red-coat to ride by.

note: My friends at Grace Hill Media were instrumental in giving me this sneak peek and you should check them out because they rock

another note: Janette Oke has written a companion book which will be published by Bethany shortly

More proof that Toronto is the coolest city in the world

My musical theatre life started with Colm Wilkinson because he played Phantom of the Opera and Valjean here as I was growing up. In part, my love for theatre developed adjacent Colm Wilkinson's electric performances which I, being a Canadian near Toronto, had the privilege to see.


Ramin Karimloo, a native Canadian treasure ( having lived here since 1989, I would say that Colm is an adopted treasure ) is now set to perform the role of Valjean on Bway.

Last night, I attended a brilliant, brilliant and unforgettable performance wherein Colm played the Bishop and Ramin killed it as Valjean (it was my fourth time seeing him this round. RUN TO BWAY and get tickets when it heads there in Feb ).  The cast upped the ante, the orchestration was spine-tingling and at the end: they did this.


.



And you're all like: stop going to Les Miserables. Which is valid. But, last night was for charity :)

Film Review:' La Veuve de Saint-Pierre"

I have wanted to see this movie since I was in high school.   I have always wanted to see this film; but somehow I have not. Until today. It was on the Movie Network: Encore and I was up and couldn't fall back asleep and knew that I had a full day of writing ahead ( I am nose-deep in finishing my new novel) ...

A few notes on the setting:

note 1: St Pierre is a little island off the coast of Newfoundland that is still in the possession of the French. I find it a fascinating little place and would love to go sometime.

note 2: it is FAIRLY obvious that this film was not filmed anywhere near St Pierre and is actually just totally filmed in Louisbourg on Cape Breton Island which is a UNESCO world heritage site and one of my favourite places in Canada! So HUZZAH! NOVA SCOTIA

This movie is achingly gorgeous and strangely ethical and philosophical and surged with harrowing humanism and consequences so grave you will want to sink your head into your hands.

It begins simply: two men go out to the pub on one foggy night, get drunk and kill a man.  Stupidly.

Their case is tried and neither can remember doing the deed.  It's all circumstantial and rather insipid and kind of horrible. You keep seeing in their eyes the desire to rewind the clock and put the liquor down and rescind their impractical stupidity.  Nevertheless, one man is sentenced to deportation from the sieged isolation of the little island and the other sentenced to death by Guillotine as was custom in French tribunal. As St Pierre belongs to French the same sense of legality is honoured there.

The stoic Captain ( a delicious, delicious Daniel Auteuil)  is seen receiving a horse from a cargo ship. He beckons his gorgeous wife Pauline ---known as Mme La---( Juliette Bincoche) to admire its ebony sinews and classic stance and we see a married couple deeply, madly in love. This sets off a relationship so passionate in its inference that I could scarcely keep my eyes from the Captain's eyes as he drunk in every moment of his wife's normalcy.

Indeed, the Captain drinks in every movement of his wife: every thought, the slightest of movements. Its as if he so treasures and cherishes her gift of sheer being he would like to steal into her thoughts to better understand every yet-unturned leaf in the blossoming garden of her compassionate enterprise.  You will die at how in love this gent is with his lovely wife.

While the prisoner under the Captain's watch is silently resolute, there is an over-arching judicial problem: the prisoner's sentence cannot easily be carried out.  They need a guillotine sailed in from the far reaches of France's middling empire and an executioner to see the dead to its end.  The Governor, a stern and horribly near-sighted man, proves far more obsessed with retaining his own idea of order than finding a proper end to a precariously bizarre instant.

The prisoner, Neel Auguste, is an exemplary case in reform.   Mme La undertakes him as a kind of protege and he begins by helping her consecrate a greenhouse under the ill-tempered weather of their maritime island.  Soon, Neel is helping the widows of the neighbouring Dog Island, fixing roofs, even saving a life. He is granted permission to marry and months pass without word about his method of execution or a man to carry out the odious deed.

In fact, when the cargo ship carrying the guillotine finally rims the mouth of the harbour, Neel is one of the first to volunteer to row it to shore.

As Mme La is compelled to spend more time with the prisoner and invest in his rehabilitation, so the Captain is caught in a paradox between his own brand of justice, buried deep in his resolute conscious and his awareness that his wife is preoccupied---if not in a conjugal sense--- with another man.

The eventual outcome is a distractingly strange and bleak and tragic downfall rips apart any idea of romance I had in its infancy due to its rugged, gorgeous sea-scape and spine-chilling chemistry between our Captain and his beautiful Mme La.

I doubt I'll be able to shake it from the precipices of my brain for awhile. It is a tortured movie that spills out like a kind of salt-water opera: tugs at you with brine and oakum and sinks into your pre-conceived notion of law and justice.

A gorgeous story, very well-told, thoughtful and just the right kind of bleak. It's hard to find any light in here beyond the muddled grey of the ocean exterior: but that's Louisbourg for you--- all haggard and rock-rifted and pining for bottled, captive light.

Christmas Reads

I have read...

Stones for Bread  by Christa Parrish (keep you posted. will review for Novel Crossing)

The Dressmaker by Kate Alcott (premise more interesting than the author's writing )

The Young Clementina by D E Stevenson (perfect. still. sunshiney look at love and loss and love in the years between the wars in a small English village)

The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers (read a bit too much like propaganda for me; but the writing was taut and I loved the guy )

Mad About the Boy by Helen Fielding  (LOVED! Bridget! Bittersweet! Maybe the best Bridget Jones yet)

An Elegant Solution by Paul Robertson ( Literary Christian fiction. Compelling .Erudite )

Little Girl Blue (The Life of Karen Carpenter ) (WHY NOT) by Randy L Schmidt ( my brother is always reading Musical biography; so I read this. And the Carpenter's Reader: ephemera  of articles and reviews and interviews)

Christmas at Claridges by Karen Swan (sweet)

Trading Christmas by Debbie Macomber ( short)

The Bookstore by Deborah Meyler

Currently reading:

Blackberry Wine by Joanne Harris

Seven Men by Eric Metaxas 


Still a week of Holidays left so keep you posted

Theatre Review: Aladdin

Disney’s Aladdin is currently in its final weeks of its pre-Broadway engagement at the Ed Mirvish theatre.  I enjoy that Toronto is often a test audience for Broadway bound adventures because it gives us a bit of a sneak peek and allows the production team to tweak and experiment with the material, hopefully perfecting it.

c/o West Midland Theatre of our cast

I believe, from what I have heard, that the production  I saw last evening has come a long way since it first opened in early November: what with several changes undertaken; but, at the core, I really think that this is the weakest of the Disney fare to date.  With the exception of The Little Mermaid, I have seen all of their theatrical adaptations so far and because each story is so inherently built into a musical format, I have never been disappointed. But, readers, Aladdin just doesn’t work.  From the beginning you know that there is something off: in the timbre, the cadence of the tale expressed in opening bars by a trio of Aladdin’s friends: Babcack, Haseem and Omar--- playing the comic relief in a show already filled with it--- straight to the first major chorus number of Arabian Nights: which seems flat, with the wrong tone, the wrong colours, a busy stage and a set that just tries so hard.  In fact, an early moment for the set: it is so elaborately crafted that they use several devices which block the audience from it in order to switch scenes.  There are no seamless transitions here. There is a cute use of “split screen” and several, SEVERAL filler moments where the curtain ( in complete Persian tapestry motif) separates the audience from the action and filler reprises of Arabian Nights propel the action forward.

This production breaks the Fourth Wall like nothing I have ever seen before. Ever.  And it is so tediously mundane.  How many reprises and bridges and musical overtures set to the Arabian Nights can one audience handle ….? Apparently a lot. 

The songs by Menken maintain their Disney flare; but the new additions (with the exception of Proud of Your Boy which I understand was cut from the movie ) seem to be shoved in. There’s a radically horrible duet between Jasmine and Aladdin on the rooftop of Agraba and an equally horrible declaration of Jasmine’s independence sung alongside her ladies’ maids which, if I had been musically stronger, may have recalled the scene with Megara in the animated Hercules.

Kids, the first act drags. Drags has nothing has ever dragged before and they are trying so evidently to cleverly transpose the animated action to the stage.  But, the story as told in its original Disney context, does not loan itself to stage. Its too ambitious.  The plot changes they have replaced to save themselves from having to technically undertake …oh I don’t know… a giant snake or Aladdin sinking to the bottom of the sea are replaced with awkward sword-fighting numbers and THIS IS TOO EASY moments where Aladdin just happens to leave his lamp lying around. For a clever and charming young street rat ( and, face it, Adam Jacobs is delightful in this role and just perfectly animated and wonderful: armed with a great voice, dancing impresario and the whitest teeth I have ever seen ) to just leave his last wish around just seems…. Amateur. Easy.

Jasmine. Guys Jasmine. Yawn. ( Courtney Reed)And I was kinda hoping since she was so forced and, well, yawn-worthy that she would bless us with a gorgeously sweet and chimed voice with the timbre and quality that Disney seems attracted to when casting heroines. Nope. Nothing to write home about. I am not sure if this is a technical imbalance or if Jasmine just couldn’t keep up but Jacobs unconsciously drowned her out.

I got off on a tangent; so back to how draggy the first act is. Draggy.  Then, THEN! In a Christmas miracle, the genie appears and saves the trainwreck from flying itself off of the rails.  In all of my 32 years of theatre-going ( this is supposing  I went to the theatre as a baby, which  I didn’t ) I have never, EVER seen one performer turn a show around and make it not only watchable but exciting in the way the Genie does (James Monroe Inglehart).  We can’t just credit the writing of the role, either; it is the pizzazz he infuses into every movement and charismatic gesture.  The Genie loves the roar of the applause and the audience loves him. Thus, “Friend Like Me” becomes the saving grace of a show so quickly sinking I was recalling my viewing of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s equally bland Wizard of Oz early this year.

Once Genie shows up with his pipes and his uncanny ability to move his broad build around the stage with surprisingly deft aplomb, I was given something to invest in. More still, the flat and dimensional and just too easy choreography that had everyone prancing around with their arms in triangles ( not unlike Jem practicing his walk like an Egyptian dance in To Kill a Mockingbird) was upgraded big time for an old-timey tap number complete with… COMPLETE with--- the most dazzling use of a self-aware Disney medley one has ever heard.

Genie brought the house down. Genie took the show and shoved it in his pocket and proved he is not only better than the material, he is so confidently comfortable as a performer he didn’t once try to emulate the great Robin Williams who vocally originated the  role. Sidenote for vocal origins: the gent who voiced Jafar in the movie plays Jafar here. Huh.

After intermission we are treated to a big Genie chorus number, Prince Ali, which is ---again --- salvaged mostly by the genie; but kudos to the elaborate costumes and the largest ensemble I have seen in a bit. Then the ante is technically upped by the miraculous feat of a flying carpet for the Whole New World scene.  This isn’t your mom’s Phantom of the Opera candle-boat, kiddy cats. This is one of the most impressive moments of stage brilliance, trickery and magic I have ever seen.  Jasmine is pitchy and boring; but darnit! Who cares, they are floating amidst the stars.

From there on in, you wait until the end when you know that the carpet will make an encore appearance ( why would they use that dazzling piece of magic just once ) and fall into one of the shoddiest plot denouements I have ever witnessed until the finale and the ultimate marriage and crowning of Aladdin as Sultan and the freeing of the Genie and all that.

Guys, Aladdin just doesn’t work.  It needs some major-re-writes. The production values are brilliant, the costumes, the cast ( for the most part) and often the staging are pure theatrical magic; but a show cannot ride on one outstanding Tony-calibre Genie performance and some cool magic carpet stuff.

I kept thinking about the Lord of the Rings musical : in all of its tedious and tawdry nonsense and how it seemed like SUCH a good idea and was so technically innovative but failed so greatly to tell any type of story.

I don’t know. I mean, I love Disney.. but this? This?

Toronto is exporting two things to Broadway in the New Year: Canadian Ramin Karimloo leading as Valjean in the revamped production of Les Miserables (just finishing its run here ) and Aladdin. Save your ticket money and invest in Les Miserables.

MERRY SHERLOCKIAN CHRISTMAS

...This is one way to explain the Great Hiatus: with a wink and a smile

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO PETER BURKE

I am a few episodes of White Collar behind but I watched the dinosaur one last night and guys… GUYS! I have figured out what is going on

All season 5 it has been: WTF happened to Peter! It’s like he’s never met Neal before. He’s reverted to season 1 Peter.

There were two rational conclusions for why this has been so weird (it can’t be that they re-jigged the writing staff. I mean, NO!  any writers worth their proverbial salt would be as invested in the dynamic over the first four seasons as the rest of us).

The first: seasons 2-4 were all a dream.  This one holds some clout; but I wanted to dig a little deeper.

The second: okay. do you guys remember in Due South when Benny was hit by a car and got amnesia? Of course you don’t: cause unless you were a Canadian in the 90s you never watched Due South. Okay, I’ll recap:Benny ( the Mountie ) and Ray ( the cop) are bestest friends. Like, totally my first exposure to bromance. Like, the greatest and most devout partnership of all-time. But THEN Benny gets hit by a car while chasing a criminal HE LOSES his memory –for like an ENTIRE HOUR OF AN EPISODE! --- and he cannot remember who Ray is.

And Ray is all: BUT I AM YOUR BESTEST FRIEND OF ALL YOUR FRIENDS

And Benny is all: WHAT? WHO ARE YOU!  I AM NOW CYNICAL AND NOT AN INNOCENT ALTRUISTIC IDEALISTIC MOUNTIE

and RAY is ALL  BUT I CARRIED YOU THROUGH THE CANADIAN FOREST WHEN OUR PLANE CRASHED AND YOU WERE DYING

And it’s super heartbreaking but through the power of human will and Ray’s friendship, BENNY IS CURED

So, that leads us to PETER HAS AMNESIA! He doesn’t remember that Neal is his friend. In fact, HE HAS SELECTIVE AMNESIA which allows him to only remember certain instances when he was chasing Neal as a criminal: not the birthday cards and cookies, just the BAD STUFF. Not the hugs and the prom suits and the dinners, just the CRIMINAL NEAL IS A CRIMINAL WHO IS A CRIMINAL? THAT WOULD BE CRIMINALLY CRIMINAL NEAL WHO I CANNOT TRUST AND I FORGET THAT HE SAVED ME FROM KELLER AND THAT HE IS MY BESTEST FRIEND BECAUSE I HAVE SELECTIVE AMNESIA

Hi! I'm Peter Burke I HAVE SELECTIVE AMNESIA

Whew. Problem solved.

There were some cute moments when Neal and Peter FINALLY find the dinosaur :) the smiles and giggles and Peter gets VIP status to the museum

Rachel Rants about 'A Bride for Christmas' Bad TV Christmas Movies with a Moral Conundrum

Okay so Christmas movies. Some have been cute “Very Merry Mix-up” and “Trading Christmas” and then there is A Bride for Christmas

A Bride for Christmas is EVERYTHING I HATE.  ( please see this article I did for Breakpoint for further elaboration) 

I hate the Guy is bet that he can’t get girl/ Guy accepts bet and gets girl/ Guy falls for girl so calls off bet/Girl feels like she is actually a poker chip ( cause she is).  I HATE THIS PLOT DEVICE.

I hate it. I hate the "when women are poker chips" plot much to the amusement of some Douchebag's smarmy office buddies so I obviously hated this movie.

Anyways, Girl ( I’ll be darned if I can remember the character’s name ) has been engaged THREE times and never made it down the aisle. In her defense, every proposal has been some big hullabaloo and she hasn’t wanted to hurt the guy’s feelings or embarrass him ( Jumbo Tron. Movie TheatreMarquis. You get it)  I mean, seriously, I would probably say “yes!” in front of a million people too.  (Though maybe not because I HATE cliche engagement spots) So, she ends up walking down the aisle or almost walking down the aisle. 

She hasn’t had a lotta luck. The most recent guy is that Sargeant from Psych Buzz McNab who got the end of the Hallmark Hair budget on this and is a mechanic and really loves Girl.  Girl is all, Sorry! I don’t love you. Audience is all: WHERE DO YOU FIND THESE GUYS WHO ARE OBVIOUSLY SO WRONG FOR YOU WITH MIDDLE HAIRPARTS?

Then Girl meets a guy who has been bet by his friends – who are sure he is not the marrying kind--- that he can’t get a woman to say yes.  It’s all very underhandedly primate and Neanderthal and primitive and terrible. Guy is all: but she’s hot! And he hires her to decorate something because she has one of those ROM COM jobs that Mindy Kaling talks about .  And he falls for her cause she wants to eat a burger instead of Thai or sushi ( regular girl foods, I suppose) and is nice to dogs at a shelter and watches horror movies.

GUYS! We need to talk about this.  THIS IS WRONG!  I mean, I usually don’t read THAT into these things;but THIS IS A STATEMENT we have to stop making.

WOMEN (and men for that matter, I’m looking at you: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days ) are not poker chips. You cannot barter a relationship and you have to stop COOKIE-CUTTER (here, because it is Christmas, in sparkly shapes like SANTA! And STARS!)  molding heroes and heroines into these boxes. The -cool-marriageable-girl because- she -eats -a- lot-of-non-"girl" food- and- watches- guy -things box and the Guy- who -is- a -rake- but- can -play -The First Noel -on- the- bar- piano -really- well box.

She starts to like him. They kiss and there are fireworks. In fact, she proposes to him!  But that won't last will it? that's not the way things should be in our neat little Hallmark boxes of fetid festive fare so INSTEAD they have to loop it so the big Bet reveal leaves the proposal ball in HIS court and he can---again---assume alpha stance.  God. Shoot me.

Yes, they get married at the end after she finds out she was bet on and he repents and she drags her wedding dress down the street all desolate and Buzz McNab tries to win her back but she gives away the ring he once gave her and her parents (HER PARENTS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD APPROVE OF THIS MARRIAGE) surprise her with a Christmas wedding to this douchebag who is no longer unmarriageable because he found a sweet and perfectly-toned girl who can scarf down fries like the rest of  the lads while jumping up at a scary flick

I just. I can’t.

I mean.

YAY! I've known this guy for two weeks and he's a Grade A Douchebag but he looks HOT beside my Christmas tree so WHE-BANG! I'm a Christmas Bride! 

Trading Christmas  did it right. It started with the cookie cutter molds ( Lacey from Corner Gas is all I HATE MEN!  And that hot guy with the dimples who played the teacher in Jake and the Kid  is all I DON’T WANT LOVE I AM WRITING A BOOK but they end up learning about each other AT CHRISTMAS and softening so that they blur the molds they are cut into and find a reciprocal and compromised love). I ended up buying and reading the novella. My first ever Debbie Macomber.

I can’t do it anymore.  Girl shouldn’t be condemned because she was too soft to turn a guy down in front of a million stadium viewers and thus is ostracized for bad choices and forced to become pawn to a stupid game.  It just makes me mad.

This isn’t just Bad TV Christmas movie of cheese and poor synthesized soundtrack composition and We Spent our Actual Budget on Cheryl Ladd so Amber from Clueless you get mediocre hair and makeup, no. This is something actually wrong with our society.   Death to this plot. It is not romantic and it is not festive. 

Guess what I'll be doing New Year's Day?

Finally, a REAL trailer for Sherlock Series III

First off,  make sure you go and re-read The Empty House to keep it all canonical. Project Gutenburg link

Then, watch this fabulous new trailer. WE GET MARY! WE GET MARY!







John's all: "I don't care how you faked it" and I am all " I AM DYING TO KNOW HOW YOU FAKED IT"

hahahha is this a record?

Had a Sound of Music viewing/mocking party on my fb last night and this chain made it to epic commenting proportions.  Did we break a record? 1194 fb comments! at least 20 contributors!

Merry Christmas to Me

Now, I have already seen the acclaimed, bound-for-Bway production of Les Miserables 3x now but darnit guys! I am seeing it again because it was announced yesterday that Colm W. is returning to the stage to play the Bishop opposite Ramin Karimloo's Valjean for one night only.

I am not sure how many more times ( if any ) I will be able to see Colm on stage and he is a long favourite to see live so I bought myself a Christmas present: a ticket.

It's for CHARITY. It's gonna be EPIC and I bet we all get a few duets.   If you're in the Toronto area you should consider tickets: http://www.mirvish.com/homepagefeature/aspecialperformancelesmis%C3%A9rables

The This is All I have Time for 'Frozen' review

Dear Blog,

We need to have a talk about Frozen. It is ADORABLE and it more than passes the Bechdel test and the central relationship is not a romantic one and the singing is Broadway fantastic and it is basically the Disney version of Wicked (complete with Idina Menzel) and there are some lovely little twists and Olaf the Snowman might be the best side-kick since the Genie in Aladdin

And it is so freaking adorable I want to go back right now. Which won’t work because I am at the office doing important things

But, really…. It is high time you went and experienced the warm fuzzies for yourself. Guys, ‘tis clever! SO clever and brilliant and bright and charming and ENCHANTED

The end.

Son of God trailer

I absolutely LOVED The Bible miniseries. I think it was one of my highlights of 2013  and I was SO overjoyed to see this trailer at the movies today.

Author Interview: Katherine Reay

Katherine Reay's Dear Mr. Knightley is one of my favourite books of the year. Bar none. I knew immediately I had found a kindred spirit as DMK reminded me immediately of Daddy Long-Legs by Jean Webster and The Blue Castle by LM Montgomery ( you all know that is a fav of mine).  Katherine and I began having little chats on FB and then the book was released and I realized EVERYONE ELSE WAS DYING OF LOVE for DMK too!  My official review is posted on Breakpoint and  here is a Q and A Katherine Reay was kind enough to take part in :-)

And note: this is by far far NOT another Jane Austen pastiche. So don't you worry about having to read Knightley's secret diaries---capiche? capiche.

And another note: I AM SO PEEVED I never got the chance to meet her for REAL at ACFW --- rats! next year

Visit Katherine on the web

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1.) Epistolary novels. Few and far between these days. What were some of the challenges of writing in this format? Some of the pleasures?


You are so right. It’s a highly under-appreciated form and keeping DMK in letters was my greatest challenge. Everyone who read it said it was “too tough,” and “wouldn’t sell.” Thomas Nelson never said that. *cheer* Now I will admit, a final edit change compelled me to write that last section outside a letter – great symbolism there – and it worked for Sam’s journey.

As for the pleasures – every writer should attempt at least one epistolary novel. They are so fun! Letters are unique – the reader almost feels like it presents a first person view, but it does not. It’s even better. There’s a delicious layer we see that Sam can’t – there is what she is willing to tell Mr. Knightley, what she tries to withhold and how she interprets events – any or all of which can look to different to us than to her. The epistolary format allowed me to really explore Sam’s limited perspective and twist it about occasionally. I especially loved playing with Mr. Knightley’s anonymity, Josh’s subtle selfishness and Professor Muir’s feistiness.



2.) Daddy Long Legs obviously informs Dear Mr. Knightley in lovely homage. Can you tell us about your reading experience with that--and some of your other favourite novels?


I fell in love with Daddy Long Legs when I was about twelve and never let it go. Other favorites? Obviously Austen – all of them. I admit Catherine Moreland bugged me for years, but we’ve reconciled and I call her a friend now. I also have a fantasy side to my personality, a mystery side, a non-fiction bent, a… I love to read. Tough to pin me down.




3.) What's next in the pipeline?

Lizzy and Jane is next and it’s in the editing process right now. It will be out next fall and I’m so excited. Lizzy had more humor and confidence available to her than Sam did. But she’s got some struggles ahead of her as well – can’t make life too easy on her.

This story has all the big guns: sisters, conflict, food, Jane Austen, Hemingway (threw you there, didn’t I?), love, and breast cancer. I know that last one is a bummer, but it’s a reality that so many of us experience either personally or walking the journey with family and friends.

Basically Lizzy and Jane is the story of a young woman, Lizzy, who has excised love from her life and, as she helps her sister through chemotherapy, she starts to put it back in – in all its wonderful and varied forms.




4.) If you could sit down with any author---dead or alive---and chat it out at Starbies, who would you choose?

So tough… I think today I would choose G.K. Chesterton. I’ve been digging into him a lot lately and there is such breadth, wisdom and joy in his writing. He’s also terribly quotable. I found this gem this morning: “Thanks are the highest from of thought. Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” Lovely. And this one is good too: “If a man does not talk to himself, it is because he is not worth talking to.” Very important for me as I am often my own best conversationalist.



5.) Can we be friends? Like, bestest watch-Emma-in-our-pjs-while-giggling-friends?
We’re well on our way already! We only lack a singular time zone, popcorn and M&Ms to dump in the bowl.




6.) Darcy or Knightley (please say Knightley. You can take him places and present him in a social situation without rolling your eyes or cringing at his lack of social aptitude)
Absolutely Knightley, no question. And while you bring up good points, there’s something else to consider… You can be yourself around Knightley. He will love you for who you are and not expect anything more. Darcy might look into your eyes someday and find them not so fine or your figure not so pleasing or your wit not sobright and sparkling. I don’t know about you, but that’s too much pressure for me.




7.) Have you read the Blue Castle? What did you think ;)
Okay… Seriously? I was absolutely blown away by the ending. I would like to go record here as stating that I did not even know about Blue Castle until last month. I have the Facebook conversations to prove it. J But the ending felt so much like the ending to Dear Mr. Knightley that my jaw dropped – fell to the floor to be hoisted up in awe. They felt the same! How is that possible?




8.) You do something amazing: you write a CBA novel while threading the themes of grace and Christianity subtly--making it one of those rare books that can be easily read by non-Christians who wouldn't usually pick up a Christian novel. Was this a conscious decision?
I so want to say that I’m just that brilliant – but that’s not true.  I will admit that when I tried to lay a more seeking heart into Sam, she rebelled and it came off heavy-handed and preachy. Now, that said, such a heart was not my original intention for her – I’m just saying that I did try it.


What I intended to do and what won out in the end – was the story of a young woman seeking for answers, a place to stand, a voice of her own, people to love and something to believe. And I think we can all relate to that. I truly believe we all believe something. Even if we say we believe nothing – that in and of itself is something.


So before I get too long-winded – Yes it was conscious and I am so deeply grateful it worked and Sam’s story speaks to people.

In which I am elsewhere ....

HAPPY FRIDAY


My review of The Book Thief ( which opens in wide release today) is up at Breakpoint 
My review of Melissa Jagear's A Bride for Keeps is up at Novel Crossing


Can I just please just note that The Book Thief was a hard review to film.... but I really liked it. Nice homage to the film.

Geoffrey Rush will rip your heart to shreds

30 deep thoughts on 'Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries'

1.)    Miss Fisher knows EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG so is always at the scene of the crime  because there is always a crime

2.)    Miss Fisher knows EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG so she always knows someone who is somehow involved/witness to/victim of said crime

3.)    Miss Fisher is always wearing red lipstick; except when she is in bed when she is not

4.)    Jack is always like: You! Get outta here!  But, then he relents because he LOVES HER

5.)    Hugh is always amused by Miss Fisher

6.)    Miss Fisher is amused that Hugh is amused

7.)    Miss Fisher has “not taken anything seriously since 1918)

8.)    Dot is the Catholicest Catholic

9.)    Hugh is the Protestantiest Protestant

10.) Burt and Cec are…. Ernie and Bert, Aussie style

11.) I never understand who Jane lives with—Miss Fisher? Miriam Margolyes? Where

12.) Butler’s name is Mr. Butler. Obviously

13.) Okay seriously. When does Phryne have time for her obviously excellent exercise regime. Have you seen her arm muscles?

14.) I want Miss Fisher’s cheekbones

15.) These Australians –well the higher class professional ones, like Jack and Phryne, don’t really sound Australian

16.) Where is Miss Fisher’s money from?

17.) Miss Fisher hooks up with EVERYONE!  Because she knows everyone --- some of them in the biblical sense

18.) If Jack and Miss Fisher do not end up together married and happy, I will seriously consider ending my existence

19.) I don’t wanna read these books because there won’t be enough Jack

20.) The way Jack looks at Miss Fisher.

21.) The way Miss Fisher looks at Jack

22.) The way Miss Fisher says Jack’s name

23.) The way Miss Fisher nonchalantly shrugs: “ I was attacked” and Jack is flummoxed and so concerned; but it passes over his face like a momentary shadow

24.) The shoes

25.) Her shoes

26.) Jack’s shoes

27.) Her HAIR!

28.) She  can fly a plane and scale a wall and her nails are perfect and she is always beautiful and brilliant

29.) Miss Fisher has a glossy sheen. Her whole being.

330.They had better kiss and get married

Author Interview: CC Humphreys

You know those books that landmark and pinpoint a certain moment in your life?  Like a favourite song, they take you immediately back to a time or a place....
When I was in undergrad,  Jack and Ate were my literary boyfriends. I devoured the trilogy and waited FOREVER for the next release.  I was lucky enough to get an ARC of Absolute Honour (back when it was first published in Canada) and I think I just sat and looked at it and clapped.

The Blooding of Jack Absolute is one of my absolute FAVOURITE historical novels and as you all know I read historical fiction like it's going outta style, that says a lot.

Humphreys is an epically well-rounded author. In fact, I don't think he can write anything subpar or mediocre: from his YA forays to his exploration of the Anne Boleyn period to Vlad the Impaler and even to Constantinople and Shakespeare!  He kinda does it all.  The rest of us should just hang our heads in shame.

But for me, it's JACK! ... always Jack! And Ate, of course.  These books taught me as a developing writer ( far more in the beginning of my formative years when I first read them ten or so years ago) that the best books spark and sizzle with personality. That you should write what you love. It is so obvious that there is so much of the author in these books ---sense of humour, passion for Hamlet! and history and staged flourish-- that the books, in turn, are bright and sparkling and wonderful to read.  Ack! here I am again....waxing loquaciously about Jack and Ate...

this happens a lot, mea culpa.


Instead, CC Humphreys was kind enough to answer some questions !

1.) You paint a myriad of historical backgrounds in your fiction often featuring real-life personages from the times of Anne Boleyn, Vlad the Impaler, Shakespeare and---- in the Jack Absolute books---Richard Brinsley Sheridan. How difficult is it  to blend fact and fiction in this way and seamless integrate real-life characters into the action of the novel?

After you do a ton of research, you have to take a deep breath and just plunge in. I am a novelist, not a historian and my first duty is to tell a good story. That said, I do try to honor a real historical personage, basing my characterization of them on a variety of sources. However – and it’s a big however! – they are also characters at the service of my plot. As long as I feel I haven’t insulted them, or made them do things that seem implausible or simply wrong, I feel they are mine to use. Some of their descendents might feel differently though! Strangely, on my recent tour of ‘Jack Absolute’, I read at the Ear Inn, in New York City. The owner was a descendent of Sheridan – and he seemed rather pleased with the take I had on his ancestor.

2.) What drew you to the Plains of Abraham for Jack's second (first chronological) adventure? This is a well-known subject for Canadian history students; but unfamiliar to a greater reading populous.

When I was at school (back in pre-history!) the battle was still well taught. But ‘empire’ as a concept has gone out of fashion, the negatives outweighing the positives. But it was so important in North American history – and just so dramatic! The last roll of the dice. The midnight climb up those cliffs (which I did as research, though in the middle of the day). Irresistible to Jack – and to me, of course.

3.) How does your passion for theatricality and your stage background (including the sword fighting! ) inform your literary choices?

Hugely. I always feel I create characters that, if they were ever to make it to the screen (and I hope they do!), would really stand out. Even the minor ones have something ‘to play’, some trait, some objective to pursue. Also, I love to advance the action with dialogue. I can hear my characters speaking the lines. As for swordfighting – well, I love swords, so love depicting them being wielded.

4.) You are  one of the few authors who can successfully transition between Young Adult fiction and adult Historical; are these writing experiences different? How?

They are – but not as different as you might imagine. Its all storytelling and it’s more in the choice of subject and character that they might differ rather than in the execution. I think teens are able to handle most things grown ups can. I don’t tend to linger much in my writing, but perhaps I do cut to the chase even more quickly in my YA books.

5.) Do you like Game of Thrones?

I actually can’t read the books. I tried but they are just too… scattered. I appreciate the skill of the world building but like to follow certain characters and hate to see them vanish for 150 pages at a time. I am hooked on the series – it distills it all down, and the acting and script are excellent.

6.) When do we get to see Jack and Ate again? 

Alas, Ate only makes a brief appearance in the next Jack adventure, ‘Absolute Honour’. Sad, because I love writing him. But if I get the chance I will definitely write more of the Mohawk. I have the sequel to the first novel a quarter written and he’s big in that.

Now, go over to Courtney's blog and read a ton about Ate :-)

Apparently you can buy a free preview on amazon kindle; but you don't want the free preview--- just buy the entire trilogy. now.