Rachel Rants about 'A Bride for Christmas' Bad TV Christmas Movies with a Moral Conundrum

Okay so Christmas movies. Some have been cute “Very Merry Mix-up” and “Trading Christmas” and then there is A Bride for Christmas

A Bride for Christmas is EVERYTHING I HATE.  ( please see this article I did for Breakpoint for further elaboration) 

I hate the Guy is bet that he can’t get girl/ Guy accepts bet and gets girl/ Guy falls for girl so calls off bet/Girl feels like she is actually a poker chip ( cause she is).  I HATE THIS PLOT DEVICE.

I hate it. I hate the "when women are poker chips" plot much to the amusement of some Douchebag's smarmy office buddies so I obviously hated this movie.

Anyways, Girl ( I’ll be darned if I can remember the character’s name ) has been engaged THREE times and never made it down the aisle. In her defense, every proposal has been some big hullabaloo and she hasn’t wanted to hurt the guy’s feelings or embarrass him ( Jumbo Tron. Movie TheatreMarquis. You get it)  I mean, seriously, I would probably say “yes!” in front of a million people too.  (Though maybe not because I HATE cliche engagement spots) So, she ends up walking down the aisle or almost walking down the aisle. 

She hasn’t had a lotta luck. The most recent guy is that Sargeant from Psych Buzz McNab who got the end of the Hallmark Hair budget on this and is a mechanic and really loves Girl.  Girl is all, Sorry! I don’t love you. Audience is all: WHERE DO YOU FIND THESE GUYS WHO ARE OBVIOUSLY SO WRONG FOR YOU WITH MIDDLE HAIRPARTS?

Then Girl meets a guy who has been bet by his friends – who are sure he is not the marrying kind--- that he can’t get a woman to say yes.  It’s all very underhandedly primate and Neanderthal and primitive and terrible. Guy is all: but she’s hot! And he hires her to decorate something because she has one of those ROM COM jobs that Mindy Kaling talks about .  And he falls for her cause she wants to eat a burger instead of Thai or sushi ( regular girl foods, I suppose) and is nice to dogs at a shelter and watches horror movies.

GUYS! We need to talk about this.  THIS IS WRONG!  I mean, I usually don’t read THAT into these things;but THIS IS A STATEMENT we have to stop making.

WOMEN (and men for that matter, I’m looking at you: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days ) are not poker chips. You cannot barter a relationship and you have to stop COOKIE-CUTTER (here, because it is Christmas, in sparkly shapes like SANTA! And STARS!)  molding heroes and heroines into these boxes. The -cool-marriageable-girl because- she -eats -a- lot-of-non-"girl" food- and- watches- guy -things box and the Guy- who -is- a -rake- but- can -play -The First Noel -on- the- bar- piano -really- well box.

She starts to like him. They kiss and there are fireworks. In fact, she proposes to him!  But that won't last will it? that's not the way things should be in our neat little Hallmark boxes of fetid festive fare so INSTEAD they have to loop it so the big Bet reveal leaves the proposal ball in HIS court and he can---again---assume alpha stance.  God. Shoot me.

Yes, they get married at the end after she finds out she was bet on and he repents and she drags her wedding dress down the street all desolate and Buzz McNab tries to win her back but she gives away the ring he once gave her and her parents (HER PARENTS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD APPROVE OF THIS MARRIAGE) surprise her with a Christmas wedding to this douchebag who is no longer unmarriageable because he found a sweet and perfectly-toned girl who can scarf down fries like the rest of  the lads while jumping up at a scary flick

I just. I can’t.

I mean.

YAY! I've known this guy for two weeks and he's a Grade A Douchebag but he looks HOT beside my Christmas tree so WHE-BANG! I'm a Christmas Bride! 

Trading Christmas  did it right. It started with the cookie cutter molds ( Lacey from Corner Gas is all I HATE MEN!  And that hot guy with the dimples who played the teacher in Jake and the Kid  is all I DON’T WANT LOVE I AM WRITING A BOOK but they end up learning about each other AT CHRISTMAS and softening so that they blur the molds they are cut into and find a reciprocal and compromised love). I ended up buying and reading the novella. My first ever Debbie Macomber.

I can’t do it anymore.  Girl shouldn’t be condemned because she was too soft to turn a guy down in front of a million stadium viewers and thus is ostracized for bad choices and forced to become pawn to a stupid game.  It just makes me mad.

This isn’t just Bad TV Christmas movie of cheese and poor synthesized soundtrack composition and We Spent our Actual Budget on Cheryl Ladd so Amber from Clueless you get mediocre hair and makeup, no. This is something actually wrong with our society.   Death to this plot. It is not romantic and it is not festive. 

[Not-So]Bad Christmas TV movies VOL the 6th: Christmas with Holly

I wish I could make fun of this Christmas movie. I really want to. I love mocking bad Christmas movies.  But this one stole my heart.

Apparently it is based on a novel by Lisa Kleypas.  Almost IMMEDIATELY you recognize the beautiful harbour town as Nova Scotia and the plot and the characters stole my heart.

Seriously. I was sitting by my tree last night sniffling my way through this thing.   Mark has guardianship of his little niece Holly since his sister died unexpectedly in a car crash.  Mark has no experience with children; but loves Holly so much he devotes his time and welfare to her well-being.  He reads her bedtime stories and EVEN DOES ALL THE VOICES ( this guy will steal your heart).

Holly is not doing well at school still obviously traumatized by the passing of her mother. To add to this, she has ceased any form of verbal communication.  Mark does his best to coax a voice out of her; to no avail.

Deciding it would be better for them both to start fresh, they return to the Island of Mark’s childhood and Friday Harbour: a gorgeous seaport filled with boats and quaint little shops where Mark works at a coffee emporium.  There, they meet a charming entrepreneur, Maggie, who is opening her own children’s shop. They also move in with Mark’s two brother who are renovating a beautiful water-side property.  Nova Scotia Tourism, as always , should be at an all-time high.

Holly is still uncommunicative (especially around Mark’s useless girlfriend Sybil or is it Shelby? can't remember! but,  Seriously, have you ever ‘met’ a NICE woman named Sybil in a television production---other than Lady S. of Downton?) but warms to Maggie and her sweet basset hound, Olive.

Mark, so tethered to his project of raising Holly as per his sister’s wish and so determined that she have the type of life that rekindles his childhood memories, force him to work hard with his brothers to paint her room a glowing pink, fill her space with toys and even attempt a Thanksgiving meal with all the trimmings.   Succeed or fail, with Mark, it is always the genuine effort that he exerts that will win your heart---as it begins to win Maggie’s.

There are the usual clichéd constructs of romantic fiction here: the wrong-for-him girlfriend comes back and fails to comprehend his bond with his niece, there is a misunderstanding between Mark and Maggie when they finally go out together, etc.,; but it is SUCH a sweet movie because it is so finely tuned into the magic of family.

There are a few particular scenes that had me bawling with cuteness and I dare you to sit through them without a resounding “awwwwwww!”: they start, as mentioned, when Mark reads Holly a bedtime story, continue when, during her first night in her new bedroom at the Harbour, she sneaks out so that Mark awakes to find her  nestled at the edge of his sleeping bag; at one point (marking her first actual communication with her uncles) she scripts a grocery list with charmingly misspelled words which she plants on the fridge door; when she finally decides to speak--- naming an imaginative fairy at the children’s store after her deceased Mother---one of the first things she does is to tell her Uncle Mark that she loves him.  I wanted to DIE OF CUTENESS.

This is so sweet. So terribly predictable and yet so sweet.  The acting was great for a film of its caliber, the chemistry between the two leads and between Mark and his brothers and all three boys and Holly were fun to watch.

I actually thought this was just the sweetest thing in the world.

Last year, I watched a film around the same time of yearthat prompted me to employ the use of this Youtube video to quantify the cuteness factor.  Here, I elicit it again:

Christmas Novellas: Christmas Roses and The Christmas Pony

Christmas Roses by Amanda Cabot

Celia Anderson doesn’t need anything for Christmas except a few more boarders, which are hard to come by in this small mining town. She certainly doesn’t have a husband on her Christmas wish list. But when a wandering carpenter finds lodging at her boarding house, she admits that she might remarry if she found the right man---the kind of man who would bring her roses for Christmas. It would take a miracle to get roses during a harsh Wyoming winter. But, Christmas, after all is the time for miracles….

Readers, this is a sweet confection of a tale and it did something very difficult to do: it made me care about their characters and their development within the span of a novella.  Further, it is the Christmas gift that keeps on giving for those women, like me, who just love a sprinkling of romance. This is a quiet romance developed between two extremely likeable characters. Indeed, Mark the carpenter is one of the most dashing heroes I have encountered in Christian fiction of late.  He is a woman’s dream man.  He anticipates Celia’s needs before she even voices them. Moreover, he is incredibly gentle with her daughter from her previous marriage.

A wild Wyoming romance starring a widow and a travelling mystery-man is a tale as old as the hills; but this one was remarkably sweet despite its clichéd construct. I  was invested in the romance that I knew would come to pass and in the reconciliation between Mark and his long-absentee father was also welcome fare.    This is the type of story that Hallmark Channel should be all over.  I mean I’ve watched my share of bad Christmas tv movies this season and in seasons past ( please see my series on Bad Christmas TV Movies).

Cabot imparts a keen interest  in the period as well as an intelligent recollection of daily life on its frontier.   I really enjoyed this tale and think it is perfect for the quiet romance lover in your life.

The Christmas Pony by Melody Carlson

Eight-year-old Lucy Turnbull knew better than to wish for a pony that Christmas in 1937. Her mother had assured her in no uncertain terms that asking for a pony  was the same as  asking for the moon. Besides, the only extra mouths they needed at their boarding house were the paying kind. But when an interesting pair of strangers come to town, Lucy starts to believe her Christmas wishes might just come true after all.

I have a warning for you readers when you approach Carlson, the described “Queen of the Christmas novella” , she will lure you with a warm and telling story and insightful characters only to drop you off when she realizes she has a dozen other deadlines to reach.  For previous example, I was really enjoying “Christmas at Harringtons” until the moment when she had to rapidly-quick wrap it up and tie it with a bow so she could move on to whatever other series the author of 200+ books was currently under contract for.    I also found that the Christmas Pony was just loose ends waiting to happen, It’s a sweet premise and delightful construct: depression-era farm girl wants a pony. I am behind this! But, Carlson needs a better editor. Carlson needs to invest in the story she is currently working on.  Carlson needs to care enough to keep the same precision and pace that gallops through the first half of the novel in the latter. 

I received both books from Graf-Martin Communications on behalf of Revell Publishing 

BAD Christmas TV Movies Volume II: The March Sisters at Christmas

(note: I am so miffed at this I refuse to link to it. If you want to learn more you can google.  I also have no desire whatsoever to re-envision this or see any image. So, instead, you get a picture of a better adaptation of Little Women : one that won't make you want to staple things to Prof. Bhaer's head)

Yes, this Lifetime modernization of Little Women exists.  And yes, it features the four sisters you know and love and the supporting cast of male characters you know and love and....yet... well.... actually, it doesn't because it is the WORST PIECE OF CRAP ADAPTATION IN THE HISTORY OF TIME!

Why bring Little Women into this, Lifetime?  Why?  Why did you have to go and do that.  Fine, make a cheesy movie about four sisters trying to renovate a New England House before the holidays while showing snapshots of their befuddlingly stupid relationships; but don't name them Jo, Beth, Meg and Amy.

Egads, people. Like, I can't even.  Like, where to begin.... oh dear Lord in Heaven and all the Christmas Angels.

Well, let's start with what people do in Little Women adaptations that goes splendidly awry:
-mistaking Jo the tomboy for Jo the annoying bitch.  This adaptation does that in spades.
-completely misrepresenting Prof. Bhaer as the Paul Emmanuel or Rochester.  Guys, we're not in Bronte; it's not all flint and flittering sparks of anger and confrontation here.  They don't yell at each other.  He's Prof. Bhaer.  Sometimes, as is the case with Kitty and Tina, he's actually, literally a bear.  Like, dressed as one.  Like, fine, make him quirky and literary and cultured (hi! Gabriel Byrne) and make him far hotter than his source material (hi Rossano Brazzi ). You can do ALL these things; but MAKE HIM LIKEABLE. There HAS to be a reason why Jo chooses Bhaer over Laurie.
-Amy and Laurie.  We all think it's wrong to begin with; but here it is
-Beth.  Well, whatdya do with Beth?  Do you do anything? anyways.....

THIS IS WHAT this adaptation does in FRAKKIN SPADES

and oh GOD IN HEAVEN  where to start.....



okay, so Marmie is in Afghanistan with Mr. March who is over there doing correspondence work because, in case you haven't noticed, America's not having a Civil War ( though Donald Trump would start one if you asked nicely). Marmie wants to sell Orchard House because, you know, she's not actually the MARMIE OF THE NOVEL WHO WOULD NEVER SELL ORCHARD HOUSE.

Next door lives Teddy the rich boy with his Uncle Mr. Laurence ( who is the bad-ass uncle who drinks beer with Teddy and his friend John Brooke and crashes party and gives romantic advice on how the boys need to have "balls enough" to "Make it with the March sisters."  ) Oh Lord in HEAVEN

Jo and Teddy are best friends in that sexual-chemistry kinda way where they run around and wrestle and you just KNOW they would be doing it in a hayloft if a hayloft were to be had.
Meg and John Brooke dated in college and he still pines for her but she's dating some guy named Douchebag Dan and is a lawyer. For no real reason.

Amy is a ridiculously stupid girl with bad hair who happens to be in theatrics. Fine, I'll give you the theatrics thing, Lifetime.

Jo is a ghost-tweeter.  Meaning, that she supplements the family income and makes up for the fact ( the oft-joked fact ) that she can't get a real job by tweeting on behalf of celebrities. Really, however, she wants to be a novelist and she has written this epic magnum opus about four generations of March women and, like all writers do, has ACCIDENTALLY sent the entire novel as well as a query letter to the editor at a publishing house which has just hired her to ghost-write an autobiography of a teen pop star.  Weekly Volcano?  Yah, well, whatever.  The editor is Markus Bhaer who gets 8 minutes of screen time; but apparently that's enough to supplant Teddy's intentions and steal Jo's heart and make her randomly cry.

At the same time as the romantic entanglements ( Laurie and Amy go and get drunk on Amy's 21st birthday, fyi, and she confesses she's always had a crush on him ), they are renovating the Orchard House that Marmie wants to sell so she won't sell it. Problem is, they are the worst renovators in the history of time because they don't ACTUALLY do any renovating. Instead, they prance around in slippers drinking wine and putting up Christmas decorations.  Teddy send Jo wine bottles in a basket he propels up to her attic hideaway when he's not creating useless santa apps in a subplot that goes nowhere.

And Teddy pines for Jo and Jo says no and EVERYONE (including Uncle Laurence who has some sort of odd chemistry with Beth ----so palpable I thought they might actually get it on by the end of the film) goes to a performance of Twelfth Night and Teddy is a whiny schoolboy and ruins Jo's date with Bhaer.  Then, Bhaer decides he doesn't want to spend any more time with her and Jo is heartbroken and Teddy, ironically, decides that is the point to start pursuing Amy.  Because, seriously, any  March sister will do ( sung to the tune of Donny Osmond singing the popular ditty from Joseph).

You see, readers, Teddy doesn't BURN for JO.  He doesn't BURN WITH SIGHS OF LOVE FOR JO*

*paraphrase from an actual line in the film


As fast as you can say "Rodrigo Save Me" the problem of having to sell Orchard House is well, diminished into nothing, the parents return home from Afghanistan and Meg decides she has loved Brooke all along.  We get hints that she's "not the same girl she was in college"  (okay, hints is a kind of subtle word when, in fact, she just tells us over and over again while stationary and stagnantly NOT DEVELOPING AT ALL).

THIS ADAPTATION IS SO BAD! Lifetime, WHAT were you thinking?  Why did you have to make it Little Women.... but I digress....

THIS! THIS WAS MY FACE. WTF!

So, even though Bhaer has given Jo the heave-ho (because, of COURSE, that's EXACTLY what the Bhaer of the book would do ); but as fast as you can say THE EIGHT MINUTES IN 'SEPARATE TABLES' that WON DAVID NIVEN THE OSCAR---- you have the EIGHT MINUTES IN THIS CRAPTASTICALLY BAD PRODUCTION wherein BHAER gets the girl simply by being the bookish chap and not boyishly insecure Teddy ( also, because even though they strayed so far from the plot; they decided they have to keep somewhat in line with Alcott or someone from above would smite them ).   How does Bhaer get the girl?  Jo, in all of her articulately sage wisdom ---as bespeaks a blonde celebrity ghost-tweeter, profoundly proclaims: "LOVE IS STUPID; BUT I THINK I'M IN IT"

At which point Rachel gagged. Much in the same way she gagged the last time she heard a line this bad ( which, incidentally, was in a film called When in Rome when that hot guy from Tad Hamilton tells Veronica Mars that "the only spell I'm under .....*insert dramatic pause here...... is yours.")

shoot me.

Anyways, Jo and Prof Bhaer draw on a chalkboard and then they kiss and everyone has a MERRY FRIGGIN CHRISTMAS because WHY OH WHY would they want to include the Under the Umbrella scene that is one of the most romantic in all of literature....

"I haf nothing to give you, my hands they are empty"*
"Not empty now"

*paraphrase from the real book.

No. don't do that. JUST DRAW ON A CHALKBOARD, you morons.


So, like the rest of you good-hearted people, I am turning to catch the end of the 1949 June Allyson edition which, thank the little Lord Jesus, is on TCM right now.


I would like to apologize on behalf of literature for the atrocity that was this 1 hour and 25 minutes plus commercials. Also, on behalf of my bad run-on sentences which I have NO INTENTION of changing (nor will I CHANGE MY CAPS TO ITALICS FOR EMPHATIC PURPOSES) because I AM friggin' MAD!

THIS IS HOW MAD I AM!

Virtual Advent Tour: George Bailey Lassos the Moon

Greetings! Welcome to my blog for the Virtual Advent Tour.

There's an episode of M*A*S*H called Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde. In it, after shift upon exhausting sleepless shift in the O.R., Hawkeye has a bad case of insomnia.  Not only is he grumpy and irritable, he is also exceedingly sentimental.  He remembers the beautiful origins of Bing Crosby's 1943 hit, "I'll Be Home for Christmas."  In the preceding war before the American involvement in Korea, the song was a beautiful reminder to the troops overseas of the holiday they were missing back home. Indeed, to this day, it is embraced by military operatives around the world. To Hawkeye, who knew little of peace before the war that he is currently serving in came to pass, it is a melancholy shift to nostalgia and a heartbreaking moment wherein he breaks down in front of Radar, remembering its potent emotional impact:

........Hawkeye: (To Radar) World War II--a lot of nice songs came out of that war. (Singing) I'll be home for Christmas...You can plan on me...(speaking again) ...I remember lying on the rug listening to them sing that on the radio. I can still smell the rug. (singing)Please have snow...and mistletoe..and presents on the tree...(speaking) A lot of very touching songs came out of that war............


In 1946, the war was a very recent and imminent memory. Those who had served so dedicatedly were now back on home soil and many had difficulty seeing toward an optimistic future when the pain and trauma of their experience were always freshly exhumed in their mind.  To this, Frank Capra added his own brand of redemptive optimism with his telling of It's a Wonderful Life : arguably the greatest Christmas film of all time. 

It's a Wonderful Life, upon its inception, was not necessarily pegged as a Holiday film; but one can see why it was easily appropriated as one. For one, it was easily available in the public domain when television stations began showing movies and it was one film that even the most basic cable stations could afford to screen.  Thus, it was an easy and beautiful way to get the family around the television set as the radio-listening/carol-singing days of old gave way to the new medium of entertainment.  Also, it has so many of the themes and archetypes we enjoy in our Christmas fare: from the Grinch/Scrooge character of Mr. Potter, to the kindly angel Clarence to the residents of a small, snow-filled town singing carols around a piano on Christmas Eve.

While most of the story does not take place at Christmas time, as is traditional with, say, the Hallmark fare of its ilk, its themes are incredibly resonant: especially for a world reconciling with the devastation of a recent war.  

There was a new wave of optimism and a new brand of Americana ushered in by the relentless hope of a story-teller such as Capra.  Who wouldn't want to trade the travesties of war for the triumph of goodness and the human spirit? George Bailey, the dreamer at the centre of the story and, likewise, the embodiment of the American ideal of hope, peace, love and the familial way, learns he is richer than he could ever have imagined possible.  The American dream is changing and the idyllic world of a small town with a beautiful, crumbly old home and a wife happy in the kitchen with an apron and a few  ankle-biters to tug on its strings, was just the type of revery forged in the minds of the young men recently released from service.

George Bailey is a hometown hero, yes; but he is also a home-front hero: a glimmer of the life that can be during what is hoped to be a permanent ceasefire.  

The movie does well at contrasting the recent War with the optimism of a nation.  George Bailey suffers from partial hearing and cannot enlist with his countrymen. His brother, Harry, however goes on to become a war hero.  While the celebration of Harry's homecoming is laureled around the streets of Bedford Falls, it is ultimately the triumph of the man who had to stay behind who is celebrated and revered at the end.   Capra does well at balancing the fresh tribute to the men who served with those who stayed at home.  George Bailey is not white-feathered for his inability to serve; rather he is seen as the understated hero he is. It is revealed, during the iconic flashback where George learns of his impact on so many lives, that had George not saved Harry from the icy water during a tobogganing accident in childhood, Harry would never have had the opportunity to save so many lives during the War.  It is an interesting and compelling parallel, yes; but also a lifeline for those who had experienced the War on either side of the Atlantic. 

There is no stigma in this wholesome story, there is only hope for the dawning of an era where the American man can pick up the pieces of his life; where redemption of past wrongs can be erased with the recognition that all you can take with you is that which you leave behind.  I like to imagine young men who had committed atrocious acts in the name of War watching this film upon its opening and feeling cleansed in the knowledge that this is a life they paved the way for.  This is what they fought for: this relentless and spirited optimism so fully cumulated in an uplifting Christmas scene.

Readers of this blog know my passion for Christmas carols and religious music and, for me, the pinnacle of this redemptive tale occurs in the gorgeous musical setting wherein the patrons of the Building and Loan shower grace upon their downtrodden hero and purchase his redemption with their goodwill and monetary gifts.  As Hark! The Herald Angels Sing proclaims the joy and abundant life purchased by God's gift of his Son to a broken world, so do the residents of a small community recognize the selfless life-long acts of their saviour. 

George Bailey once thought of lassoing the moon; of traveling the world and making his name afar; but the greatest gift he receives is the knowledge that the kindness and smallest action can ripple through generations and that one life well-lived saturates the lives of others in a way that human understanding will never grasp. What better Christmas theme than this?... no matter how you celebrate the Holidays.

By the time that Hawkeye fictitiously recalls the music of the previous War during his service in Korea, the small splice of peace shown in Bedford Falls has slivered and decayed and his country is once again in the midst of War. George Bailey and Bedford Falls and the Capra-brand of optimism seems far, far away; but the passionate recollection of a life well-lived, and for service men and women, a life well served, chimes on with the bells and the carols and the acts of cheer.  












The other stops today: 
kelley @ the road goes ever ever on
Tasha @ Truth, Beauty, Freedom, and Books as

A Wreath of Snow by Liz Curtis Higgs

Liz Curtis Higgs loves Scotland.  So do I.  I was fortunate enough to visit in the Summer and, I must say, my attention to her past few works of fiction have definitely been inspired by her passion for the country.

Here, in this perfect Christmas confectionery, Higgs takes us on a railride from Edinburgh to Stirling where a young and intelligent young woman is confronted by a dashing man who holds a desperate secret.

From the beginning, Meg Campbell is conflicted: she doesn't feel as if she belongs at home with her well-off parents, even during the most important time of the year. Moreover, she is forever haunted by the accident that crippled her  younger brother when they were both children.  His bitterness, it would seem, has ramifications on the entire family.  The stolen hope that has pervaded his older years leaves Meg and her family struggling to connect with a man whose personality has become difficult.

Gordon Shaw is as troubled by Meg's past as she is.  Initially unbeknownst to her, Gordon is the long lost stranger who once innocently injured her brother and set in motion a wheel of events with ramifications stemming to the present. Gordon longs to make amends; but Meg would rather her new acquaintance stay completely away from her unhappy family.  Will Christmas bring a time of redemption and unexpected grace...or just added sorrow?

You know what I think?  I think you should pick someone on your Christmas list who loves languid, romantic Victorian fiction and buy this novella for them.  Make it better: throw in a packet of earl grey tea and Scottish shortbread and you have the perfect book-lover's gift!

I received this delectable little treat from WaterBrook Multnomah Books in exchange for an honest review.

how's THIS for Friday Frivolity?

First off, my darling friend Martha posted this website on facebook. It randomly generates Mennonite names.

If you're writing a Mennonite novel, your characters can easily be christened ;)

If you ARE Mennonite, then shout your name proudly!   I keep hitting 'refresh' because I know her very Mennonite sounding surname will turn up eventually....


In the spirit of JINGLE, my favourite Canadian vocalist, the ultra-impressive-Canuck-answer-to-Adele, Serena Ryder has a bouncy and fun Christmas song for you to enjoy.



 Got halls? Deck 'em.

Tomorrow, I doth Muppet it.  Will keep you posted.

Advent Tour Blog: the Meaningful Music of Christmas

My favourite time of the year is Christmas and my favourite part of Christmas is the music. I am an evangelical Christian so the music that is of most importance to me is that which best conveys the true meaning of the holiday and resonates the scriptural foretelling and proclamation of the Messiah’s arrival. Whatever faith you do, or do not, take a part of, I am sure that music-lovers far and wide appreciate the haunting beauty and poetical nature of some of the most timeless Christmas carols. I thought I would provide a few interesting tidbits about religious seasonal music which I have gleaned from a long and intensive study on the history of church music and hymnody. Merry Christmas All!!

On Silent Night: When I was in Austria this past summer, I had the rare privilege of viewing the transcript of Franz Gruber and Joseph Mohr’s masterpiece, Stille Nacht: one of the most sung carols in the world. In fact, during the British-German Christmas truce in 1914, soldiers from both sides are recorded as having sung Silent Night across the trenches: it being the song that both sides knew with utmost familiarity. Silent Night boasts a miraculous heritage. Strewn from the makings of traditional alpine folk music and bearing resemblance to the famous structure of Austrian yodeling, Silent Night was composed in a small village called Oberndorf on Christmas Eve, 1818. For a small, lullaby-type carol to sift over the alps and into its subsequent publication by John Freeman Young in 1859 is rather miraculously baffling.

Oberndorf is a remote community somewhere outside of Salzburg. Visitors to this rural community would have been sparse ( due to its location and the rather rudimentary modes of transportation available to residents in the early 19th Century) and influence from the outside world would have been sparse as well. Thus, Gruber and Mohr drew on what musical resources were available. Sketching a haunting melody and simplistic words ( with a strangely powerful imagery), Mohr and Gruber crafted a legend: using the resources they had and the meager musical range they had. Sung on that first fateful night with just guitar accompaniment, Silent Night is now one of the most popular religious songs in the world. In fact, in a society so bent on stripping Christmas from the malls and the streets, Silent Night cannot be beaten. Retail stores strict on circulating non-religious music still include Silent Night in their compilations, films and television series use it quite prominently and in a growing tradition of carolers and children unfamiliar with the lyrics to religious carols, Silent night is universally known.

Poetically, Silent Night is divine. Using a simple cadence and painting a soft, still crèche ( not unlike those so famous at the Austrian Christmas markets in the Tyrol and Vienna), Silent Night boasts little glory. And yet, at its most resonant, it encapsulates the true meaning of the season. It offers redemption with “ the dawn of redeeming grace” , assurance “ Christ our Saviour is Born”; and even testaments Jesus as Messiah, “Son of God/ Love’s pure light” This song moves me beyond words

On Handel’s Messiah: Handel was a private person whose resounding masterpiece The Messiah transcends time and place with an almost ethereal energy. For such a commonplace vessel to be used as the champion of God is a miraculous story to behold. Handel’s piece, I argue, is moving because it strings us from the earliest prophesy of Jesus through His never-ending reign. Brimming with majesty and hope, Handel draws greatly from scripture and pieces his contrapuntal, multi—layered masterpiece with fragments of the Word of God. For a large majority of religious believers living in London in 1741 ( when the Messiah was composed), the scripture presented in church through music, sermons and narrative, would have been their only link to the Bible.

The limitations of the printing press ( even since Gutenberg’s publication of the King James Bible in 1611 ) were still pronounced and the greater part of the working class world still suffered from illiteracy. Thus, the scripture performed and presented in musical form would have been greatly admired and appreciated. It does little good to attempt to dissect each and every delicious part of the great opus; but I do want to point out a few areas of note: First, The Messiah is broken into a trinity ( as it were ) of Acts: from the Annunciation through the Passion ( and significantly Christ’s ascension) and finally the Aftermath ( the promise of redemption and the glorification of Christ). The famous Hallelujah chorus ends the second part of the three acts and is not ( as can be believed from its climactic feel), the end of the composition. The centuries old tradition of standing during a performance of the Hallelujah Chorus (No.44) was begun by King George II when he first heard and was moved by the piece. There are several explanations and theories as to why King George II first rose; but I like to think he was so moved by the piece ( Handel is noted as saying that while composing it, he saw the face of God) he was forced to stand erect.

On It Came Upon a Midnight Clear : this is one of the first Christmas carols penned by an American author. Christmas carols date back as early as Roman Times. From the Tudor Courts of England through the 18th Century writings of Charles Wesley (Hark the Herald Angels Sing), Carols experienced burgeoning and wide spread popularity especially in the 19th Century when this famous Carol was written. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear was written in 1849 by Edmund Sears, a pastor at a Unitarian Church in Wayland,Massachusetts . It was first published in the Boston Christian Register on December 29, 1849. Often set to one of 2 melodies, either “Carol” (composed by Richard Storrs Willis, a once student of Felix Mendelssohn, the famous composer) or “Noel” (adapted from a popular English melody).

A cross-denomination hymn, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear can be found in a myriad of hymnals from the Lutheran Book of Worship to the United Methodist Hymnal (which usually set the lyrics to the tune Noel mentioned above). While the “Carol” setting (written by Willis) is used commonly in Episcopal churches. It is the Carol setting that is most popular in pop recordings by famous artists. Edmund Sears was a prolific author of numerous works influencing 19th Century liberal protestants; but it is his haunting carol emphatically positioning the angel’s presence, not only at the birth of Christ, but still as Christ’s “guardians” here on Earth, that has lasted. Sears was educated at Harvard Divinity School and always showed a great propensity to understand and communicate tenets of theology.

When questioned how a Unitarian minister could write so passionately about the events surrounding the nativity (as outlined in his famous carol), Sears declared “I am more Unitarian in name than conviction.” In his book “Sermons and Songs of Christ’s Life”, published a year before his death, Sears wrote “Although I was educated in the Unitarian denomination, I believe and preach the divinity of Christ” There are several theories behind the inspiration behind It Came Upon a Midnight Clear and yet it is the resonance of the lyrics that are truly the most potent reflection of Sears’ intentionality. Some believe that it was penned at the request of a minister-colleague of Sears; others believe Sears originally wrote it as a melancholy reflection of contemporary circumstances (most notably on the Mexican American War, 1846-1848 and particularly the bloody annexation of Texas). Sears opposed the Mexican-American conflict due to his religious beliefs and his great belief in the American public which had, since the Revolutionary War, been thriving and peaceful.

The lyrics of It Came Upon a Midnight clear reflect a time when the United States was torn asunder yet reconciliation and hope, through Christ’s birth and everlasting presence, present a reconciliatory theme that the singer is left with far after the last stanza. Moreover, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear binds humanity with an ethereal presence and with heavenly divinity. “From angels bending near the earth to touch their harps of gold” provides a sense of solace to our gritty earth-bound souls. Here, as Christ came to touch the very lowest of humanity; so do the angels bridge the gap between earth and heaven intervening as heavenly hosts to a broken world much in the same way that Christ’s birth ransomed humanity, broke the “veil” and connected us with his golden and everlasting life through the Father.

Later, during the American Civil War, this particular song experienced resurgence in popularity. Sung in Civil War camps and throughout the nation, it once again spoke peace to a gravely desperate humanity in the same way it had expressed Sears’ frustration with the Mexican American War. Scripturally-sound and still relevant to Christian’s 160 years after its authorship, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear is as prevalent today as it was when Sears first took pen to paper. Still we struggle with hardship war and the evasion of Peace. Yet still, as in Sear’s days of yore, we recognize that Christ intervenes: be it through His glorious presence or the imagery of angels to re-iterate the promise of eternity and the peaceful glory that awaits believers.

On I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day: Renowned American poet, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow experienced great hardships to counter his beautiful and beloved poetry. “ How inexpressibly sad are all of the holidays”, he wrote in his journal on Christmas Day, 1862 after the untimely death of his wife to a tragic fire accident. “’ A merry Christmas!’, say the children,” Longfellow expressed in the same journal entry, “but that is no more for me.” In December 1863, tragedy struck again when Longfellow learned that his eldest son Charles, a lieutenant in the Army of Potomac during the American Civil War had been severely wounded in Battle . Shortly after a visit to his son a year later in December 1864 ( where Charles was still gravely ill), Longfellow penned the words to “ Christmas Day” a poem equally illustrating Longfellow’s despair of circumstances past and hope of assurance in the peace of the future. Later set to music and entitled “ I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day”, the song remains a Christmas standard.

It is Longfellow’s personal hardship which makes the lyrics to the carol a profound and simple exposition of God’s presence in a faltering world that remains so relevant today. There are two musical settings to this song. Both are widely used in modern recordings. One (as recorded by Elvis) is set to a composition written in the 1870s by English organist, John Baptiste Calkin and the other to a composition by Joseph Mainzer in 1845. It is my belief that the latter better houses the melancholy and reflective tone of Longfellow’s words.

Historically, the words of Longfellow’s poem resonate with the common experiences of many soldiers on both sides of the North and The South. Corporal J.C. Williams, Co. B, 14th Vermont Infantry, wrote this comment on Christmas Day 1862: “This is Christmas, and my mind wanders back to that home made lonesome by my absence, while far away from the peace and quietude of civil life to undergo the hardships of the camp, and may be the battle field, I think of the many lives that are endangered, and hope that the time will soon come when peace, with its innumerable blessings, shall once more restore our country to happiness and prosperity.”

Like the greatest works of literature, the above musical offerings continue to stand the test of time. Next time you are in the mall, on the street, or near your own fireplace harkening to your favourite renditions of traditional carols, spare a thought for their composers, their lyricists and the rich and resounding history that informs the most popular of Christmas carols and hymns.

Christmas Books

I always re-read some of my favourite books at Christmas and this year is no exception.

I packed last night for two weeks at home and while I packed numerous books I have not read, I also loaded up my gorgeous STRAND bag ( right from Greenwich Village and the largest used bookstore in the world ) with:

Vienna Prelude (Thoene) --- I have read this every year since I was 12. Always at Christmas. The first book I ever re-read

The Man with a Load of Mischief (Grimes)


Something by LM Montgomery ( usually Jane of Lantern Hill --- which it is this year )

Great Expectations (Dickens)

the Blooding of Jack Absolute (Humphreys)


Horatio Lyle ( a new tradition )

Eight Cousins and Rose in Bloom (Alcott)


I will let you know if I think of any more.


Remember to get your hands on a copy of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Schaeffer because I LOVED it!


Starting Ariadne Franklin's City of Shadows because I am hankering for something to do with the Romanovs and this looks thrilling and fun.