"The Giant Mechanical Man"

Dear Rachel,

You have to stop watching the film The Giant Mechanical Man which you rented from itunes on Ruth’s suggestion.  You saw it once.  It was great and quirky and whimsical and it redeemed Chris Messina (much as the Mindy Project is doing) from being nothing other than the Guy Who Never Closes His Mouth When He Chews in Julie and Julia (that time when your Mom turned to you ---when you were at home on Christmas holidays and had rented it with the folks---to describe as “cute; but what a pig!”) and Jenna Fischer is as per the norm adorable and it is refreshingly romantic in a thoughtful and real way; but you must stop watching it. 

Like, seriously.  You aren’t just going back to scan over your favourite scenes; you’re going back to the beginning and watching all 1 hour and 39 minutes of it. Again. You’ve watched it four times since Sunday.  Now, you DO live on your own so having the television for company while eating dinner is usual for you; but this has to stop.  You need to go and explore other films of the same ilk.

What? You say you want to keep living in its world: a world of polar bears at the zoo while Jenna F. eats baby carrots out of a Ziploc and Chris Messina (being ever.so.adorable)  approaches her ever so gently and falls deeper into crush-dom?  You say you want to live in that moment where the two of them share an ENTIRE pie at 12:20 at a diner ( you checked the diner clock ) after a party where they fell a little more in love while trying on a random pair of sunglasses?  What, you want a guy who will sit and WATCH A SILENT FILM FESTIVAL with you? 

Okay, so maybe it’s the quiet romance between the quirky, geeky and eccentric artist-man and the shy and soft-spoken woman who no longer WANTS TO SELL GORILLA GRAPE JUICE NEAR THE MONKEY CAGE AT THE ZOO that sets your heart racing.

But you have to stop watching it.  Like, now.  Despite its sarcastic and sardonic take on the world as a mechanical motion wherein we are clogs and toggles and widgets forced to meander along ---only saved by the hope of someone completing our vacant thoughts—Despite its co-starring of Topher Grace as an idiotically wonderful author of vapid Conversation books who propels his ego forward with knit cable turtleneck sweaters and a bad haircut--- Despite its resurgence of a heroine who is finally able to stand up for herself.

Desist, damn you, desist and go and read or write something and STOP counting the hours at work so you can make a quick duck to the gym before making dinner to watch it again.

You can’t keep renting it on itunes. Your VISA card is not forgiving.

Just buy the stupid thing and get it over with, perhaps.  Then, if you really need to, you can watch it every night.

dammit! the cuteness is killing me