Thursday, November 22, 2007

import

my sister is doing her phd in International Development and is obviously more than a little sick of the library.

I imported this entry to show you


It's dark, it's dry, it's ugly. It's full of books you will never read. It smells like a dungeon."It's my basement washroom!"No, you are incorrect. It is a library. And now, as we students embark on that fateful period known as "end of term", we reacquaint ourselves with the library. Days of our lives we will spend in our favourite carroll, on our favourite floor.

We will ride the elevator to amuse ourselves. We will climb stairs because we have no other way of attaining exercise. We will look as good as we feel - exhausted, ugly, and shaking from coffee overdosers. Have no fear, my library-going friends. I spent my entire summer in the library. I have spent most of this autumn in the library. And with this has come infinite wisdom of ways in which one can amuse oneself whilst working in the library. Do not thank me for passing on this knowledge to you. I am just that wonderful.So allow me to begin this series of entries (of which this might very well be the last) with a very important skill that I have personally mastered, known as the 'unnecessary shush":I don't need quiet to work. I don't like loudness, but I don't need total silence. In the library, I am often the disrupter. I don't know how many evil eyes I've gotten from the librarian this year. Maybe that's because I decided to hold my own wedding in the library in July (see Album #4 for further details...)

But I am okay with that. She gets paid because of my existence. And I am a grad. student meaning I get special privileges - example: I get to walk around all high and mighty and assume that I can be a jackass in the library.
The unnecessary shush is one of the ways in which I get to show off my importance as an all-wonderful grad. student (at least I like to think...)There are a series of ways in which this can be done.The general theme is telling people that they need to be quieter as you are trying to concentrate.Par exemple:
1) Start laughing obnoxiously with a friend. Stop for 1 minute. Then ask those speaking in quiet voices beside you to be quiet as you have been trying to work.
2) Begin a conversation on your cell phone. Phone in hand, ask the person beside you to keep it down so that you can continue your conversation (do this in the 'no phone' zone of the library for optimal entertainment)
.3) When someone is on a cell phone and is courteously leaving the room to continue their conversation, look annoyed and ask them, in an obnoxious manner, to at least have enough decency to leave the room.
4) When people are obviously trying to whisper so as to not disturb anyone, give them the evil glare. Hold eye contact for a minute, roll eyes, and tell them to 'shush'.
5) Every once in a while go "shhhhhhhhhhhhh" Make sure that no one was actually talking.
6) Tell the librarian she is using the library too often and using up necessary working space
.7) Walk up to an innocent victim and tell them that they have taken your designated study space (these do exist - I have one). Approximately 30 seconds after they have packed up their things and left, repack your own, and follow them.Repeat at each of their new places.If they refuse, call library security. They're just plain rude!These are a mere seven possibilities, but the opportunities are endless!

The important thing is to remember that the library is your oyster and indeed was built for you. Yes, that's right - you!And we all know that the greatest minds were the most insane.So go ahead - be creative, be obnoxious...and be wonderfully amused!

1 comment:

otahyoni said...

My goodness, you've been busy! I leave for a week, and you post four of five times!

I refuse to believe that Liev Schreiber could be terrible in anything (I have love!), but otherwise will avoid Cholera like the plague (ha!).

I never took to Lynley, alas. I did like Havers, just not enough to truly bother watching the series.